


Shattered Mirrors

by sampsonknight



Series: Shatter Minds Series [2]
Category: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (TV 2003), Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe, Drama, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Illnesses, Mental Health Issues
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-02-13
Updated: 2015-07-12
Packaged: 2018-03-12 04:27:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 25,633
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3343634
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sampsonknight/pseuds/sampsonknight
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Two years later after April gave birth to two eggs, Donnie is starting to have odd dreams, as he continues to struggle with his illness. To top it off, events start to unfold, that the dankness can't kept secret anymore, as Donnie and Aprils past starts to come to the light, is it a good thing or a sign that worse things are still to come, shattering the mirrors of their minds they hold so dearly to protect. (TMNT CC are AU based on 2003 versions, April is 25 as the turtles are 22) Pov will switch between Donnie, April and Raph.<br/>Disclaimer: The TMNT isn’t mine and this is just a fan fiction writing. No money is being made on this story.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Girl

**\----------------------------------------(Donnie POV)**  
  
A chill surrounded him within the darkness, he crept forward, knowing all too well what it meant, what he would experience once again.  
  
Taking a breath, he shivered, he didn’t want to continue the path he took, he didn’t want to witness it, he didn’t want this to keep happening.  
  
He could feel the cold cement ground of the sewers underneath his feet, he could smell the grimy water that flowed by, among aromas he have learned to ignore.  
  
Touching the wall, feeling the hard surface with his fingertips, it felt uninviting, shaking his head he removed his hand feeling awkward and lonely, wishing someone else was with him, to witness this to tell him this was just a dream, but was it really?  
  
Looking forward to the speck of light that was in the distance, which was beckoning him to come towards it, calling to him to touch it, to feel it, to enter within it, only so he can watch the play that was waiting for him, before performing once again.  
  
Deep down, he wondered, could he wait it out where he was? Would it go away if he did?  
  
Behind him the darkness grew blacker, if that was even possible, denser and thick like it tried to choke the air out of him, his very life force.  
  
Baring it no more, he went forward, he fell for the trap yet again, walking towards the light to watch it unfold like every night…  
  
There he was in the middle of the sewers far from home, to far he remembered, or was it a memory? He should never have been there, he should have never wandered off, he should have listened to his father…  
  
Donnie stood there, with sad eyes, watching her, the red hair girl, the one that cries, the one that is always running, the girl he wanted to help…  
  
 _(Her… always her…)_  
  
Huddling in the corner, with her back facing towards him, she sobbed loudly, shivering uncontrollably, not by the cold, or the darkness that surrounded her, she shivers for she is alone, waiting for him…  
  
So much he wanted to help her, so much Donnie wanted to go to her, yet he couldn’t interact only observe the event as it unfolded in front of his eyes.  
  
No matter how much he wanted to see her smile…  
  
The young redhead child only around 9, didn’t move a muscle, staying where she was crying her heart out, she was wearing a white shirt and pants, filthy from her falling and scrambling through the sewers, she was running from them, she was always running…  
  
Watching in vain, the urge within him build up, he wanted to tell her it will be ok, she was not alone…  
  
Yet he could not, biting his lower lip, he could feel the tears falling from his eyes trailing down his cheek, he didn’t want to watch anymore, he didn’t want his heart broken by her sorrows, for this wasn’t the worse part that was to come.  
  
Sighing, closing his eyes, he knew he just had to wait, sitting on the ground, he did so, not pleased with this, wishing he would wake up from this nightmare.  
  
Suddenly, out of the shadows, a young turtle emerged curious and cautious, as he approached the crying girl, his purple bandana was unmistakable, it was him, a younger version, that was around six.  
  
  
  
 **\------------------------------------------ (Younger Donnie POV)**  
  
As the younger turtle approached her, he felt sorry for this poor girl he has never seen before, wondering why she would even be there, where did she come from?  
  
Every step he took, fear swelled within, considering she was human, and humans can’t be trusted… he has been warned many times, humans can be dangerous and would harm him if they ever caught sight of him…  
  
Yet, how could something that could harm him, be so sad, so vulnerable, a kid just like him?  
  
She didn’t seem she would hurt him; she wasn’t as scary as his father made humans out to be.  
  
Taking his chance, mustering his courage, which wasn’t much for he wasn’t Leo or close to Raph, he wanted to see if she was ok, wouldn’t it be wrong of him to ignore her?  
  
Reaching out gently touching her shoulder, to his dismay, only to have her scream, shuddering more, pressing her body against the wall, making herself smaller, he retreated his hand quickly jumping to her shrieks as it ran shivers down his spine.  
  
Donatello, held his hand, looking at her, did she think, he was a monster that would hurt her? If so she never looked at him, so how could she know if he was or not?  
  
Taking a breath, he desperately tried to steady his voice, not showing his own fear, “Are you ok?”  
  
The girl only answered him with silence, whimpering to herself, licking his lips, he attempted again, “My… my n..name is Donatello… what’s yours?”  
  
Still, she sobbed, not looking at him, not showing any acknowledgment he was even there, making him wonder if he should even stay longer, there might be more humans around, her mom or dad could be looking for her.  
  
Either way, he needed to get home, maybe he should tell his father, though he would get into trouble for wandering around the sewers on his own, he had to talk to him, he might know how to help her.  
  
Turning away, Donatello started to take his leave, only to be stopped by a cold hand grabbing his.  
  
Frozen in place, he shivered, noticing how cold it felt, like a corpse, well, that’s what he was told a dead person felt like.  
  
Heart pounding in terror, he didn’t want to turn around, what if she was the monster?  
  
He has never seen her face only her backside, she might be a zombie or a vampire that Mikey is always going on about, not that he believed such things were real… well he hope they weren’t.  
  
Gulping, he dared, slowly he turned around, finding she was no such thing, she was no monster, her green eyes made contact with his, they were full of terror and uncertainty, not towards him, but something else.  
  
They begged him for help, begged him not to judge her, he shook on the hidden message behind them, fearing to find out more, but more than anything, he was terrified of what he might have done… allowing a human to see him.  
  
“Please don’t leave me alone…,” the young girl whimpered in a low, needy distant voice, holding onto his hand tightly, begging him to stay, her eyes tamed him, making him to surrender to them, making him to leave his fears behind.  
  
Nodding, he came to her, sitting beside her, as she continued to hold his hand shaking like a leaf, crying into his shoulders, all the while he stroked her hair to comfort her.  
  
  
  
 **\--------------------------------------------(Donnie POV)**  
  
Sighing watching the younger version of himself consoling the girl, talking to her, Donnie couldn’t take it, as he rose to his feet, walking away, he knew what was to happen next, he knew he would really never know who she really was, only that they were after her.  
  
Wandering down the sewers, he could still hear her sobs, followed by screams, from both her and his younger self.  
  
They arrived, the man and the…. alligator that was as big as a house, compare to him, back then and even the height he was now.  
  
The alligator that was a mutant just like him, one he never met until that day, a mutant that broke his younger version’s arm.  
  
The alligator that he feared more than anything, that threatened him to never to tell anyone what he saw, or even daring to mention her, as well if he ever dared to go near her again, the alligator made a promise to him, that he will not resist in killing him next time around.  
  
“August…,” Donnie whispered as the dream started to fade away.  
  
August, the name the girl claimed to go by… yet the man and Alligator kept calling her April instead…  
  
\----------------------------*********--------------------------  
  
Jerking his eyes wide open, Donnie laid there in his cold, empty bed, only wishing it had a warm body, her body to comfort him from the dream that never goes away.  
  
Whimpering within the darkness of his room, no one responded to his pleas.  
  
Slowly he rose getting out of his bed, as he took his time to reach his door, all to just stand there staring at it, with his hand hovered over the handle shaking.  
  
 _(I can do it… maybe I shouldn’t?....)_  
  
His anxiety was getting to him again, closing his eyes, he counted to ten backwards, as he hit one he turned the knob revealing an eerie silent lair, no surprise though since it was late in the night and everyone has gone to bed.  
  
Sluggishly and as quiet as he could, he made his way to the stairs, heading down them towards the kitchen.  
  
Throat dry and harsh, crying for water, he needed a drink, as the dream played in his head, taunting him like it always does.  
  
Stopping before the kitchen, he stared at it, wondering if he should ask first, shaking his head, he knew he was allowed, yet he hated this uncertainty within him, why does he keep questioning himself?  
  
He knew why, though he could function, he was still sick, he acknowledge that, and it was hard for him at times, even the simple things like this…  
  
 _(I can do this… I don’t need help, I will prove them I can…)_  
  
Taking a breath he preceded into the kitchen turning on the light, though he could see in the dark well, it brought him comfort, leaning against the wall, he stared at the cupboards, which one had the cups again?  
  
Biting his lip, he forgot yet again, wondering if he should go through them all to find what he seeks…  
  
Sighing, he wanted to, but he couldn’t, shuffling his feet, he became frustrated, then suddenly a gentle hand touched his shoulder, scaring him to death as he jumped for dear life.  
  
“Donnie, calm down, it’s me Leo… Sorry I didn’t mean to startle you like that. I heard some noises and came to investigate who was up so late at night,” Leo tried to calm Donnie’s frantic nerves with his kind eyes, rubbing his shoulder.  
  
Breathing through his nose, he calmed down, gulping hard, forgetting his previous problem and frustrations, “Leo… I didn’t hear you…”  
  
“I really need to learn to be more noisier next time, I still scare April too,” Leo chuckled lightly giving Donnie a sweet smile that made Donnie feel better.  
  
“Yeah… Umm Leo…,” Donnie looked away from Leo, ashamed at the thought to ask Leo for help, but before he could even attempt, Leo went to the middle cupboard grabbing two glasses, placing them on the counter, then entering the fridge pulling out a carton of milk pouring some in both glasses.  
  
“Here Donnie, I know it’s not warm, but it might help you sleep,” Leo suggested drinking his glass with a slight moan.  
  
Fiddling with his glass, Donnie wanted water, but milk would do too, as he too took a drink, then passed his empty glass to Leo, who put it in the sink, rinsing it.  
  
 _(Leo… thank you for not making me feel incompetent… I’m lucky to have a big brother like you…)_  
  
“Thanks Leo… I should get back to sleep…,” Donnie started to leave only to be stopped by Leo’s hand.  
  
“Donnie, are you ok… Are you still having nightmares?” Leo warmly smiled yet his eyes wear wearisome, even Donnie could see pass his cool gray eyes, that could hide emotions from others.  
  
Shaking his head, assuring his big brother, he was fine, Donnie wore the best smile he could muster, hoping Leo didn’t read pass it.  
  
He couldn’t tell him of his dreams, especially the one of the red hair girl with two names, he feared his brother would worry of him, assuming Donnie was not getting well after all, falling deeper than before.  
  
He did not even dare to tell April, though he did promise to tell her everything that was going on with him, but that dream, he couldn’t get himself to do so.  
  
For in truth, he started to question it, was it really a dream or was it suppressed memories trying to come to the surface?  
  
Then a greater fear hindered him, consuming him, throwing him in a spiral of dread and silence, could it be some form of proof he was falling more than before, after two years of being as stable as he was, was he losing his mind completely, did his last mirror finally shatter or going to?  
  
Sure, he wasn’t fully recovered after this long and he had issues, but he was better than before, he knew that much, then yet again was he really?  
  
So much he wanted to be his old self, so much he wanted to do the things he should be able to, hell he couldn’t even figure out how to test DNA on the two baby turtles that were now two years old, Willow and Luke.  
  
No one knew if they were his or Raph’s, no matter how much he tried to remember how he use to do things, he couldn’t… most of his memories were locked away what April told him, though he did start to wonder if there were gone for good, never to return again.  
  
 _(Please Leo don’t ask me any more questions and let me go to bed… I don’t want to lie anymore… It hurts too much to do that to you of all people…)_  
  
Watching Leo, Donnie waited, with a sigh, he nodded, “Ok Donnie. Just don’t forget we can talk any time you want if you need an ear to listen, night little brother.”  
  
With that Donnie left for his room, not looking back, as he reached the top he looked down towards the other two doors.  
  
At the far end was Mikey’s room, which at the moment the children were with him, not knowing who the father was, the brothers took turns watching the kids, they seemed to taken a liking towards Mikey more than anyone else, other than their mother of course.  
  
Then slowly, moving his eyes to the door before it, his heart became heavy with sadness; April was in there cuddling with Raph…  
  
Sighing, he went to his door, he really wished she would have stayed with him that night, but he and Raph came to an agreement, for the sake of the kids and all fairness to April, they didn’t fight over her, yet in some odd way shared her.  
  
Each was allowed to show her their affections towards her, as the other by agreement, will not get or show he is jealous, in return, she showed them each her affections towards them individually; she was as fair she could be, some nights she will stay with him as for others she would stay with Raph.  
  
As odd it may be, neither brother felt neglected this way or did either one ever got jealous of the other brother, sure times Donnie felt sad not having her, but he knew Raph felt the same when Donnie was with her, so it was balanced either way.  
  
The reason for this, was that April couldn’t decide which one she wanted to be with, or thought it was fair for her to make such a decision, considering she did promise she would make her decision, when Donnie was in full health.  
  
Deep down, Donnie wondered if that would ever happen, would he ever become the turtle he used to be?  
  
The past two years he approved a bit, but not much at the same time, like he was at a stalemate on the subject, in the depth of his soul, he felt like something was holding him back, yet in the end he couldn’t figure it out what it could be.  
  
Sighing again, he entered his dark room, making his way to his bed, lying down, closing his eyes, hoping the dream did not come back; wishing day would come sooner so he didn’t feel so lonely.


	2. Just another Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Two years later after April gave birth to two eggs, Donnie is starting to have odd dreams, as he continues to struggle with his illness. To top it off, events start to unfold, that the dankness can't kept secret anymore, as Donnie and Aprils past starts to come to the light, is it a good thing or a sign that worse things are still to come, shattering the mirrors of their minds they hold so dearly to protect. (TMNT CC are AU based on 2003 versions, April is 25 as the turtles are 22) Pov will switch between Donnie, April and Raph.  
> Disclaimer: The TMNT isn’t mine and this is just a fan fiction writing. No money is being made on this story.

**Raph POV**  
  
As his eyes opened, Raph shifted as her aroma filled his nostrils, with a devilish smile curved onto his lips, he slyly leaned his beak towards the crook of her neck, giving her a small lick, watching her like a hawk stalking it’s prey.  
   
She moaned towards his actions, mumbling under her breath still sleeping soundly, slowly moving his hand down towards her tail, lightly he squeezed it, well that’s what he thought he did.  
   
Suddenly April squealed in shock, literally jumping in response, then crashing to the hard cement floor, as she fell off the bed before he could even grab her in time, staring at the edge of the bed, Raph’s face went white, that wasn’t what he was aiming for…  
   
Now the question was, should he go check on her and suffer her wrath that he truly feared at the moment, or act innocent and pretend to be sleeping.  
   
Taking the easy road, he shut his eyes quickly, she wouldn’t notice he was really awake, only thinking he was sleep touching, thinking on that notion, it did sound pretty pathetic even in his head.  
   
A horrifying growl came towards him, unable to help it, he couldn’t stop himself from shuddering by it.  
   
 _(Shit, did she notice… Not that I did it on purpose… Wait, I’m the tough one here, why am I acting like some pussy?)_  
   
Opening his eyes meeting the malice filled green eyes that glared at him furiously, he shuddered yet again.  
   
 _(Damn… she is scary… no way anyone is brave enough… or stupid, to act all tough towards the likes of her, when she is this pissed off…)_  
   
Thinking as quickly as he could, Raph wondered if he could figure a solution to this, he could kiss her, which normally smooth things over, or…  
   
Taking the first option before considering if there were others, Raph planted his lips against hers, with a sigh she looked at him.  
   
“Nice try, why did you pinch my tail?” April pulled away crossing her arms, not very amused with him.  
   
Chuckling still feeling the full effect of the woman stare, he rubbed his head, “Well, I was trying to massage it… I must have put more force then I attended to…”  
   
April looked at him over, then shook her head, “I believe you, but Raph, please be gentle next time, that really did hurt.”  
   
Placing his arm around her brushing his cheek against hers, letting out a small chirp as his apology, she blushed kissing him on the cheek.  
   
Normally he wouldn’t do such things as chirping, but he has seen Donnie do it and it really did butter her up, though there was no way in hell he was going to do it in front of his family, he would prefer the woman look, over that humiliation.  
   
Well, not like his family could say a word, for each one of them have been a bit more open towards their turtle side showing it more, but only in the lair though, outside they were ninja’s with a reputation to uphold.  
   
Pulling her in, Raph licked her neck as she moaned and gasp, trying to pry him off her, not for she didn’t like it, but it was time to get up, nether of them had the luxury to sleep in per say.  
   
Knowing the daily schedule all to well, that was a pain to him, Raph sighed, giving a love bite before getting out of bed as his way in teasing her, only to receive a slap on the rump in response, which did make his tail tingle with delight.  
   
Looking over his shoulders, he smiled, almost debating if he should say hell with it and jump her, pinning her to the bed, she might complain at first, but in truth she would like it all the same.  
   
 _(Damn, she is gorgeous … But I made a promise, I wonder if I should grab her in the shower later? Mmm she does smell so damn delicious when her body is all wet and silky. Not to mention how hot she looks, when the water drips off that perfect figure… huh where did she go?)_  
   
Realizing April walk out of the room while he was in his fantasy world, Raph crossed his arms quite disappointed; he should have jumped her when he had the chance.  
   
\---------------------------------***********-----------------------------------------  
   
 **April POV**  
   
Smiling to herself, April wondered how long it would take Raph to notice that she slipped out of the room?  
   
Sure, she could tell the red clad turtle was getting pretty aroused, which was a turn on, yet she couldn’t let him hold her hostage for the remainder of the day, though the thought was really amusing to the point she did consider at one moment to let him do it.  
   
Shaking her head, she had things to do, for starters was to see how Uncle Leo was doing, April smirked more when she reached the bottom of the stairs hearing Leo voice coming from the kitchen area of the lair.  
   
“No Luke, that’s not where your baby food goes! Willow stop patting your bowl, you’re going to knock it over. AH jeez Luke,” Leo yelped as the thud came afterwards, followed by a wailing laughter from Mikey.   
   
 _(Well, Leo is doing well as usual; I swear those two kids love torturing him…)_  
   
Leo growled under his breath, “Mikey, you’re not helping…”  
   
It was apparent that Leo was stressed already, he does love the children to bits, but they had the habit making Leo frantic to the point they could even make him cry, though April never would want to see that, it would be just to hard for her not to laugh at him.  
   
Reaching the dining room, there standing, holding Luke, was Leo covered head to toe in baby food; April wasn’t sure who was feeding who at the moment.  
   
As for Mikey, he was sitting at the table, pounding his fist into it, laughing so hard that any given moment the young turtle was going to fall off his chair, all the while Willow clapped her hands, happy as could be.  
   
Sighing to himself, Leo finally looked over towards April as a look of relief came over him, “Oh good your mommy is up,” Leo tried to pass off Luke to April instantly.  
   
With a smile April gladly took Luke, cuddling him in her arms, just to have Willow pout, then cry, for she too wanted her mother to hold her.  
   
“Well have fun,” Leo took this as his cue to run while he still could, he had his share of the kids for the morning and now he had to go wash up.  
   
Watching Leo leaving in a rush, both Mikey and April held back their laughs, noticing Leo’s shell was painted with food hand prints, how did that happen, who knows.  
   
Shaking her head with a smile, April took a dish towel wiping Luke’s face, “Now let’s see if we get some food in your tummy little one. Mikey can you help?”  
   
Getting out of his chair, Mikey went to Willow taking her out of her high chair, whisking her into the air, “Willow do you want Uncle Mikey to feed you?”  
   
Willow squealed clenching her hands indicating she wanted Mikey to hug her, smiling Mikey love taking care of the kids, holding Willow, he made bubbling noises near her neck making her squeal louder in pure glee.  
   
\--------------------------------------------**************-----------------------------------------  
   
 **Donnie POV**  
   
Mouth dry, the nightmare once again came to him before daybreak, Donnie laid there staring at the ceiling, wondering if he should even bother getting up, he felt depressed, scared, this was starting to hinder his already poor state mind.  
   
Sighing, he rolled over holding his pillow between his legs, clenching it tightly, then suddenly something hit him in the shell, startling him.  
   
“Get up Donnie,” Raph voice came from the side of the bed, slowly Donnie turned around to meet face to face with his older brother that had his arms crossed with a frustrated look on his face.  
   
It was obvious even to Donnie, Raph probably preferred to be doing other things, or be with April than to deal with him, a part of him wanted to tell Raph to leave and not bother.  
   
Sighing Raph slumped down onto Donnie’s bed shaking his head.  
   
 _(Was I showing my expressions again? I am not really good at hiding this…)_  
   
“Ok, I understand we both don’t like doing this… But we promise April and you still need some supervision… I know this blows, but Donnie trust me when I say this, I think you are healthy enough to do things on your own… but we both know what happen the last grace period we gave you…” Raph trailed off, he really didn’t wanted to put the salt in the open wound, but last time they let Donnie to do what he wish without a schedule, he had some kind of a breakdown in which he almost got himself killed.  
   
 _(Yeah… It’s pathetic that I still need so much help still…)_  
   
“Raph… Sorry,” Donnie sat up leaning his shell against the wall holding his legs.  
   
Biting his lip, Raph jump off the bed, “Well don’t be, come on I need your help either way.”  
   
Tilting his head Donnie wonder what he meant by that, help with what?  
   
Heading towards the door, Raph looked over his shoulder with a devilish smile, “Well, come on, we need to replace them now or Leo will have both our shells!”  
   
“Fix what?” Donnie tilted his head trying to read Raph.  
   
Shrugging sighing under his breath, Raph rubbed his head, “The camera’s you set up years ago in the sewers that we use to keep an eye around the outside of the lair for our safety. Some damn reason, last night a bunch of the outer hunk of junks, just stop working all together, not sure why, so it’s our job to replace them.”  
   
“We?  Are you sure… I’m… I’m not…,” Donnie started feeling doubtful of his capability to help Raph.  
   
Raph roared smiling more, “You're worried about you being able to do this, you do remember I know jack shit about this kind of stuff right?”  
   
Raising an eyebrow Donnie didn’t understand why would they be doing it then, “Ok… why us?”  
   
“Simple no one else wanted to do it, besides how I see it… If I make you do all the work and if something does go wrong and you get shocked or worse, at least it’s not me in the end.”  
   
 _(That’s why he wants me to go with him to be… to be his dummy?)_  
   
“Thanks Raph… Love you too,” Donnie sighed, getting out of bed, could this day get any worse?  
  



	3. What Lurks in the Darkness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Two years later after April gave birth to two eggs, Donnie is starting to have odd dreams, as he continues to struggle with his illness. To top it off, events start to unfold, that the dankness can't kept secret anymore, as Donnie and Aprils past starts to come to the light, is it a good thing or a sign that worse things are still to come, shattering the mirrors of their minds they hold so dearly to protect. (TMNT CC are AU based on 2003 versions, April is 25 as the turtles are 22) Pov will switch between Donnie, April and Raph.  
> Disclaimer: The TMNT isn’t mine and this is just a fan fiction writing. No money is being made on this story.

**Donnie POV**  
   
Slowly taking his time, walking down the stairs, Donnie viewed over the railing towards the direction of the distinct sounds of giggling and her voice.  
   
April stood there at the table while she was feeding Luke, as Mikey had the task of taking care of Willow, smiling Donnie figured he was best not to go bother her, for the dream, his nightmare was still fresh and new in his mind.  
   
Knowing his mate all too well, he feared she would smell his tension, for she had the impeccable ability to sense when his distraught, and at times was very capable of reading between the lines with him.  
   
 _(Maybe I should go find Raph…)_  
   
Yet to his dismay someone else had other plans for him.  
   
Not a second his foot reached the bottom step, Donnie felt a nudge on his shoulder that actually made his skin burn with pain, yet it wasn’t to forceful to make him lose his balance.  
   
Letting out a big disappointing sigh, Donnie could only think of one person that would do that to him, as he slowly looked towards his brother Raph, shaking his head, for no words was worth saying at that moment.  
   
“Go already, say good morning to her, while I get the stuff… Jeez Donnie, she is going to get the impression you’re avoiding her if you keep this shit up,” Raph proclaimed  determined to get Donnie to talk to April, all the while his eyes were full of worry at the same time, like Raph could tell there was something amiss with him.   
   
 _(Ok Donnie you need to get Raph to back off before he starts asking what’s wrong… But… How…)_  
   
“Why would you care? Wouldn’t it mean you get more time with her?” Donnie asked a bit more forcefully than he intended to, not that he was jealous of Raph or cared Raph spent time with her, but he wanted to get Raph off his case before he too realized there is truly something going on with him, that would make his big brother more than just be simply worried.  
   
The worst scenario, that Donnie actually wanted to avoid by everyone, was being antagonized over his behavior lately, especially by Raph of all family members, knowing the hot head, wouldn’t just drop it, not until he makes him spill the beans, only to ease up when he is satisfied with Donnie’s answer.  
   
Snapping Donnie out of his debate on what he should do, Raph smirked at him, giving a slight shiver down Donnie’s spine, as Raph slowly leaned in towards him… clenching his fist, bringing it inches from Donnie’s face.  
   
 _(Ahh… crap…)_  
   
Flinching Donnie didn’t move, then just when he was ready for the oncoming pain, considering he must have pissed Raph off with his comment, he felt a sharp hit on his beak.  
   
To Donnie’s surprise, Raph flicked him on the beak with his finger, making the purple clad turtle rub the area annoyingly, eyeing Raph down, for he was displeased by his actions towards him, Donnie wasn’t sure how to respond to his brother, what was the older turtle thinking, to make it look like he was going to punch him of all things?  
   
“Oh, I would love to have more time with her, especially in bed! But we both know that is not fair, besides, if you upset her, I will never hear the end of it. Do you know how boring it is, having sex with a girl that is upset? You're just better off with a sock,” Raph roared, making Donnie regretting saying a thing, why did he even bother, he was just best to surrender when it came to Raph and did what he was told...  
   
 _(…)_  
   
Not wanting this conversation to go into more depth than it already has, Donnie just knew what little sanity he had left wouldn’t be able to handle Raph when he was acting in this manner.  
   
Taking his leave, Donnie left the pervert at the stairs, who in turn was pleased with himself, like usual.  
   
 _(Why does he always have to say such things?)_  
   
No doubt, though, Raph just said that to weird Donnie out, he like picking on him in this way.  
   
Feeling a bit nervous, taking his time heading towards the kitchen area, Donnie shifted his feet when he reached one of the pillars leaning against it, watching April, taking in her beauty, the way she moved, her sweet smile on her lips, those stunning green eyes that were like deep pools that one could get lost in forever.  
   
Biting his lip, he wondered if he should say something, his nightmare held him there, as he could see the images play in his head, of the young girl that resembled April when she was human.  
   
“Good morning Donnie, would you like something to eat? I have some toast that I haven’t finished you can have or I can make you something else,” April looked towards his direction, just noticing he was there.  
   
“I’m not really hungry…,” as the words came out a worrisome look came over April’s face, as she contemplated if she should tell him he should eat something or not, saving her the breath, Donnie continued quickly, “but I will eat the rest of your toast, if that is ok with you April.”  
   
Smiling April placed the plate with the two toasts on it, that haven’t even been touched, which had peanut butter on them with a dash of brown sugar, the way he liked it.  
   
 _(Of course, you say you made it for yourself, but you really made it for me didn’t you?)_  
   
Taking a seat, he couldn’t help to smile at April’s clever trick to get him to eat, for it was obvious she didn’t make the toast for herself, since she didn’t like brown sugar on her peanut butter, she was more a banana fan.  
   
Eating his breakfast, savoring every piece of it, he never could understand how she managed to make it taste so good, no one else could achieve such a goal, nothing compare to hers, yet wasn’t this a simple thing to make?  
   
 _(This is sooo good…)_  
   
As he finished the last bite, he felt her two soft arms wrapping around his neck, as April leaned against his shell, brushing her cheek against his, giving a soft chirp to him.  
   
Hearing her sweet chirps, made his fears and doubts fade into nothingness, as the nightmare became no more, she was there, that was all he needed, why does he always have to avoid her when his nightmares plague him, she was his lifeline to bring him back, he had nothing to fear with her by his side.  
   
“Are you full now?” April purred, kissing him on the cheek.  
   
“It was very good April, thanks,” Donnie kissed her back, smiling at her as he grabbed a lock of her hair, playing with it in between his fingertips, noticing how soft it was, yet he could smell Raph on her, they were having sex last night, what he could tell.  
   
Tilting her head, April turned white, as she just realized why he seemed suddenly upset, April started to wish she washed beforehand; in her mind it was mean to have the smell of the other brother on her like this, “Sorry…”  
   
Chuckling Donnie shook his head, pressing his cheek against her neck, making sure some of his pheromones came in contact to her skin to stick there, if Raph was on her, so will he.  
   
Roaring by Donnie’s actions, April kissed him again, “I swear it’s like a little war between you two, oh well, I guess I should take a shower, so both of you will lose.”  
   
 _(Lose? I think I could win…)_  
   
“Maybe I should join you?” Donnie wondered if he could, did he have time?  
   
Sure, he was scheduled to help out Raph, but Raph did go into his old lab, he might… Donnie crossed his fingers, Raph might get lost for a good amount of time, giving  him the opportunity to spend some time with April this morning after all.  
   
“No you may not. You have some work to do with Raph, besides, if he wasn’t allowed, neither are you,” April shook her head, of course he would try his luck too, yet she did leaned towards his ear, whispering gently, “But, tonight I might be interested if you are in the mood.”  
   
 _(Really?!)_  
   
Gulping Donnie didn’t care about the shower anymore, he wanted tonight to be now, but alas, it wasn’t to be, as a sharp reminder he had other things he must do at the moment, came barking behind April.  
   
“Come on lover boy, lets get this show on the road,” Raph stood there with a duffle bag that seemed full, as he leaned against the pillar eyeing the two turtles.  
   
 _(… I guess he didn’t get lost… my bad luck…)_  
   
“Ok, you two play nice… Where are the kids and Mikey?” April looked around noticing they weren’t at the table anymore.  
   
“Oh, I saw Mikey bringing them upstairs, something about leaving you and Donnie alone, for you two were acting naughty,” Raph shook his head, showing how disappointed he was with them, yet gave a wide teasing grin afterwards.  
   
“Ah crap…,” April started, “I swear the both of you are a bad influence on me,” she blamed them both before running off, heading towards the stairs, then suddenly stopped in her tracks, changing her direction at the split second, heading toward the bathroom instead, to take a quick shower first.  
   
“Well lets get going then,” Raph headed towards the door leading to the sewers, passing Donnie a flashlight, considering Donnie was a bit nervous of the dark.  
   
 _(Yeah… But do we really have to?)_  
   
\-----------------------------------***************************--------------------------------  
 **Raph POV**  
   
Hands violently shaking, making the flashlight flash around, hitting every reflective surface and object in the sewers, Donnie cringed more, hearing Raph growl in annoyance.  
   
The hot headed brother, who wasn’t all too keen to spend his evening scouring the sewers for the cameras that went down, was getting worse with his obvious fueling aggression, over the fact how much Donnie couldn’t keep even a flashlight steady in his hand.  
   
 _(Can’t he just hold the damn thing in one place, I have been trying to be all happy and calm, but I don’t know how long I can keep up with this damn happy go lucky Raph impression act anymore!)_  
   
Flashing a look over his shoulders Raph snarled, then his face softened instantly, noticing the expression on the younger brother’s face.  
   
“Donnie are you really that scared?” Raph stopped turning around, looking at Donnie in the eyes, with a gulp Donnie nodded, he hasn’t been in the sewers much, the darkness and smells, terrified him, making him feel small and helpless.  
   
 _(Ahh… Crap… maybe it was too soon to let him out of the lair, what was Leo thinking?)_  
   
Sighing, Raph shook his head, placing his hand on Donnie’s shoulder, giving it a small squeeze to show his support, “Donnie there is nothing to be afraid of, we are the scariest things in the sewers. You are aware, that I won’t let anything happen to you right?”  
   
Nodding slowly, Donnie suddenly shivered as he swore he heard shuffling somewhere beyond the pitch black darkness, flashing his light, Raph sighed again, placing his hand on Donnie’s hand to help steady it.  
   
“Donnie, it’s just a gust of wind, coming from the drains, nothing more. The thing with the darkness is that, it can play tricks on you, just remember one thing, if I say run, then be scared,” Raph smiled, watching Donnie give him that annoying look, he had down so well.  
   
“That doesn’t help Raph… But… are you sure…” Donnie looked at the darkness again.  
   
 _(… I might have to have a little chat with Mikey, for him telling Donnie ghost stories about the sewers. Damn it, my money is on Mikey, for making Donnie so fearful!)_  
   
Lightly punching Donnie with a smile, Raph continue walking, before he just wanted to get this job done so he can go off and do other things, but now, he wanted to get this over with, so they could go back to the safety of the lair and Donnie wouldn’t be so scared anymore.  
   
Deep down, he feared if this would affect Donnie in other ways, he still was worrisome over Donnie’s progress, Raph did try his best to help out, yet at times he felt useless…  
   
Turning down a corridor, Raph stopped in his tracks, looking at the pieces of plastic and wires scattered all over the sewer floor, wasn’t the camera’s just malfunctioning?  
   
 _(What the hell?!)_  
   
Slowly looking where the camera was supposed to be mounted, the only thing that was left was the base, what was going on, there was no evidence that something even got close to them in the footage, to destroy them in this manner.  
   
Taking back his statement about them being the scariest things in the sewers, Raph was speechless, debating what form of action he should take, was Donnie truly safe out here with him?  
   
 _(Damn this isn’t good, what would take them down and not get caught on the video? Leo stated they just went out; it looks like it was more than just blacking out. Something smashed them, but what, like anyone comes down here, if they did, why would they bother with them or even notice they were there in the first place…)_  
   
“Raph what’s wrong?” Donnie came up to his brother looking over his shoulder noticing the broken camera.  
   
“Donnie, I want you to stay right here, don’t move, I’m going to take a quick look ahead,” Raph stated to Donnie, yet avoided looking at him directly, knowing his brother fear was showing and to see his face would make him feel guilty in doing this.  
   
Yet he had too, if something broke the cameras and was still around waiting, they would just be allowing it to follow them home, which could be the reason whoever is behind this broke the cameras in the first place.  
   
Noticing in the corner of his eyes, Donnie slowly nodded pressing himself against the wall, Raph sighed under his breath, “I will only be a couple minutes, Donnie, please don’t move, or go home… don’t worry the camera probably just fell…”  
   
Feeling worse on lying to his little brother, Raph quickly pressed forward, he had to know if the other cameras were in the same condition and to see if he can see any evidence on who was behind this.  
   
\-------------------------------------********************------------------------------  
   
 **Donnie POV**  
   
Pressing against the cold brick wall, Donnie watched his older brother disappear within the darkness, Raph was lying and he knew it.  
   
 _(Why does he have to lie, I know that camera just didn’t fall…)_  
   
Sure Donnie has issues, but he can tell when Raph isn’t telling the truth, which wasn’t a habit of him doing so, but when he does, it was obvious as day.  
   
Yet when Raph stated they were the scariest things in the sewers he was truthful, that Donnie was certain of, then what would make Raph worry?  
   
 _(Are we really the scariest things here? Maybe Raph doesn’t really know…)_  
   
Biting his lip, he held his sides, he didn’t like this he wanted to go home, but if Raph said he shouldn’t, then he should not.  
   
With a small whimper Donnie glared into the darkness, wishing Raph would come back already, he didn’t want to be alone, what if there is something lurking within the darkness, what if it dares to approach him, what was he to do?  
   
He was incapable to fight, yes, he was being trained in the arts of a ninja… yet he was still a beginner as Leo would put it, he wasn’t even close to what he use to be, or good enough to be entrusted with his bo staff, not that he knew what to do with it, if he was.  
   
To bring the fear factor up, something stirred to his right, heart throbbing, Donnie looked over his shoulder, was it the wind?  
   
Gulping the movement came closer; it could be Raph, or even one of his brothers checking in, right?  
   
(Please be Raph, please be Raph, I don’t care if it’s a joke on his behalf, I just want it to be him!)  
   
As the sound came closer, revealing it was definitely not his imagination or the wind itself, Donnie shook, “Raph?” Donnie finally squeaked out.  
   
Whatever was moving stopped, as silence once again took root.  
   
 _(It could be Mikey or Leo… April? No, she would stay with the kids…)_  
   
What felt like hours Donnie stood there alone, gathering what courage he had which wasn’t much, as he managed to speak up, “Raph… Mikey?”  
   
Suddenly an unfamiliar growl commence, making his poor heart flutter, feelings of terror rippled through his body as he pressed his shell tighter against the wall, was it really some kind of monster? Or was this some sick trick?  
   
Fearing the worse, knowing even though Mikey like playing tricks on him, he wouldn’t go this far, Donnie hadn’t the faintest idea who it could be.  
   
 _(Please be one of my brothers… Raph… where are you… I’m scared….)_  
   
Breathing heavily, Donnie bottom lip trembled as he gulped, feeling his mouth becoming dry, “Who… who is there?”  
   
As the words came out, something flashed into his sight, coming for him, taking him off his feet, slamming him onto the cold brick ground hard, as an unbelievable weight pressed against his body, holding him down with an iron grip.  
   
Letting out a moan, in his defense, Donnie shielded his face with his arms; only to have his attacker grabbed them quickly, thrusting them to the ground on either side of him.  
   
With a gasping moan of pain, Donnie’s body trembled in horror as he came face to face with someone he never imagine would be there or was actually real at that.  
   
His nightmare came to reality, there, glaring at him was this massive alligator, the mere size of this monster was double of his, its weight was by far more than what Donnie could handle, as its breath was rancid that could even wake the dead or disintegrate the body instead...  
   
“You PROMISED!” the beast gruff voiced boomed echoing in Donnie’s ear drums, as the alligator’s snout came closer to Donnie’s face, seeing no way to escape, Donnie knew with one wrong move, the alligator could very well bite his head off with its powerful jaws.  
   
“I…. I don’t know…. What… what yourrr talking about!” Donnie whimpered fearfully, why was his nightmare here, how could it be, wasn’t he awake and where in the world was Raph?  
   
 _(Someone help me! Wake me up PLEASE!!!)_  
   
“Do you really think, I will be fooled by such a poor act!? You promised me Donatello, you would protect her!!”  
   
Staring at his attacker, Donnie was baffled by the alligator’s words, who was he talking about, it couldn’t be referring to April, was it?  
   
“Protect who, who are you! I don’t know what you’re talking about!” Donnie bellowed out whimpering between words, trying his hardest to fight back the tears, as he lost all control of his body that just shook violently, all the while he truly wished Raph never left him alone.  
   
“Rrrr, Don’t play dumb turtle! Her place was trashed and it appears that April hasn’t been home for some time, so the question remains! Where is she, and why didn’t you protect her!” the alligator growled fiercely, putting all its weight down onto Donnie’s plastron, as its long tail smashed into the ground inches away from Donnie’s head, warning the poor turtle that he wasn’t playing games!  
   
 _(April? He is talking about her… What did he mean by, I was to protect… in what regards… How does he know her… What’s going on!!!)_  
   
Closing his mouth tightly, Donnie was completely lost on the situation or what this alligator’s true intent was, but one thing was clear as day to him, this alligator was looking for his mate of all people, the one he loved so very much!  
   
There was no way he would ever let anyone hurt her if he could help it, that was his promise to himself, for this guy’s so called promise, Donnie didn’t remember ever making it, nor could he see himself in the past ever agreeing to such a promise to him, or would bothered dealing with such an aggressive person in the first place.  
   
Like someone finally was answering to his pleas for help, something far in the darkness moved quickly towards him.  
   
“Donnie!?” Raph called in the distance, as the alligator flashed a look up, growling at the fact Raph was coming their way.  
   
“If you value your brother’s lives Donatello, I would avoid telling Raphael there, about me. That includes Leonardo and Michelangelo, do I make myself clear, turtle!”  the alligator demanded, squeezing the purple clad turtle’s wrists with its oversized hands, shooting pain through Donnie’s body.  
   
Complying, wanting the pain to stop, Donnie slowly nodded, trying not to scream, not believing he was actually agreeing with this thing, yet it knew his brother's names…  
   
 _(Let me go and go away…)_  
   
Before Raph was in eyesight to see Donnie laying on the ground, the big alligator was gone without a trace, like he was never there.  
   
(Was he just my imagination? Was I seeing things again?)  
   
“Shit Donnie what happen?” Raph rushed to his brother’s aid, grabbing Donnie’s arm gently, helping him up to his feet.  
   
“I… slipped…” Donnie looked down in shame, he wasn’t sure how real the alligator’s threats were, or even if this event ever happened, either way, Donnie didn’t want to risk it coming out of the shadows and hurt Raph because of him, forcing the young turtle to be untruthful towards his big brother.  
   
“Slip?... Jeez Donnie I thought… are you sure?” Raph tilted his head at Donnie, trying to read him.  
   
“Yeah… Can we go home Raph… please…” Donnie whimpered, still not making eye contact with Raph, fearing he would read through his lie.  
   
 _(Please no more questions… Don’t make me lie anymore… I don’t like it…)_  
   
Sighing, shaking his head, Raph placed his hand on his younger brother’s shoulder, “Sure thing, let's get home. We can fix these damn cameras another night.”  
   
Not saying a word Donnie only followed, as Raph continued to wonder what was eating him, did the sewers really scared him this much?  
   
Watching in the corner of his eye, Donnie was fully aware that Raph was a bit skeptic on his lie and was disturbed by his frighten state, yet no matter how much Donnie wanted to give in and let his brother know what conspired when he left him, the little voice in the back of his head only screamed at him on the mere idea, warning him that the alligator was true to his word.


	4. Stranger

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Two years later after April gave birth to two eggs, Donnie is starting to have odd dreams, as he continues to struggle with his illness. To top it off, events start to unfold, that the dankness can't kept secret anymore, as Donnie and Aprils past starts to come to the light, is it a good thing or a sign that worse things are still to come, shattering the mirrors of their minds they hold so dearly to protect. (TMNT CC are AU based on 2003 versions, April is 25 as the turtles are 22) Pov will switch between Donnie, April and Raph.  
> Disclaimer: The TMNT isn’t mine and this is just a fan fiction writing. No money is being made on this story.

**April POV**  
   
Handing the children off to Mikey who volunteered to take care of them for the day, April slowly moved her way towards the Dojo reluctantly, in the dim lighted room, there was a shadow of a figure between two lit candles, not to her surprise the shadow was Leo sitting there meditating, waiting for her arrival.  
   
Not even saying a word remaining in his state of peace, the ninja waited patiently for her to take her seat, as he instructed her in doing so the other day, to come and join him.  
   
Nervously April stood there rubbing her arm wearily, “Leo, I’m not really sure about this… I mean ok, I know I sat in for Donnie’s sake, but a one on one session with me…”  
   
It has been weeks now that Leo has been constantly insisting on her to take some lesson from him, nothing to extravagant of course, he explained to her he just wanted to arrange some meditation sessions, as well some basic training in order for her to protect herself better in extreme circumstances.  
   
His personal opinion on the subject were valid she had to admit and she truly did understand where he was coming from, for being not just a mutant, but a mother and the mate of not just one ninja but two, she did need to know more then just how to punch and kick her way out of a fight.  
   
Sure she could hold her own against any street thug to a point that is, but if she ever found herself against a foot ninja, which she was told there aren’t many around now these days and they tend not to bother them anymore, she still needed some defensive skills just for the critical moment that something did arise against her.  
   
With a smile, Leo opened one eye looking her over, “April, do we always have to do this? You’re more then capable to learn what I can teach you, besides it’s not just for your own benefit, but ours as well. I agree with Raph on this, if you become more skilled, the less we will worry about you. Not saying we think you’re weak, but there are people out there…”  
   
Quickly stepping in before this turned into one of his famous long lectures, April sighed, “I know Leo… It's just not that easy for me… I’m sorry. I really don’t like fighting so much and prefer not to put myself in such situations and…”  
   
“Then don’t think of it as fighting per say, but defending yourself and your hatchlings,” Leo closed his eyes, knowing the last part of his comment got her hook line and sinker.  
   
 _(Damn, he just had to say it that way, didn’t he…)_  
   
Sighing in defeat, rolling her eyes annoyingly, he did have her exactly where he wanted her, he just couldn’t resist playing the hatchlings card on her, did he?  
   
“Fine… Just be patient with me,” April sat down trying not to pout.  
   
With a light chuckle, Leo tried not to lose his concentration, “Patience? After dealing with both Donnie and Mikey in one session, I don’t think I have to worry so much about that when dealing with you.”  
   
 _(Oh, I forgot about that day, I’m still not sure who was more wired for sound, Mikey or Donnie?)_  
   
“I guess you got me there,” April smiled devilishly seeing Leo was cringing on the flashback.  
   
\-------------------------------------------******************------------------------------------  
   
 **Raph POV**  
   
Finally reaching the door to the lair, Raph opened it carefully making sure no one was around first, not even open half way, Donnie rushed right in quickly, still not ushering a word, as Raph could only shake his head.  
   
In a matter of seconds Donnie was on the couch staring at the blank TV, deep down, Raph wanted to see what was up, yet he couldn’t, he knew he would only get the avoiding silence yet again, if he bothered.  
   
 _(What happened out there… why was he lying to me? There was no way he just slipped… not the way he was acting… was he attacked? If he was, why didn’t I see anyone, only foot ninjas are that good...)_  
   
Crossing his arms, Raph debated what to do, should he tell April or Leo of Donnie’s demeanor?  
   
Biting his lip, he wasn’t sure that was the right approach to this, yet one thing he did have to do, was talk to Leo that was for sure, about the cameras to see how they should proceed with that disturbing finding of his.  
   
(I really should deal with the cameras first, then Donnie, I just hope they are not related… If they are… then something is out there wanting to pick a fight with us… why now of all times?)  
   
Tilting his head towards the Dojo, noticing it was before noon and it looks like it was being occupied, Raph recalled Leo stating something about finally getting April to train, though he did wonder if his elder brother accomplished such a feat or not this time around, April could be the stubborn type.  
Biting his lip, the idea of having April finally agreeing to train, held as much as an importance to him, sure the information about the camera’s could wait right, until they are done with their session at least?  
   
 _(I will talk to him in a bit, not like an hour will change things.)_  
   
Making the decision to go sit with Donnie to see if he at least do something productive, and attempt some small talk with the younger brother to get him to open up, not even a step forward, the sounds of the door to the sewers open behind him, frozen in his spot, a sense of dread washed over Raph.  
   
Why would the door be opening, it didn’t make sense, everyone was home, he knew that for sure, then who was coming into the so call secure home of his?  
   
(SHIT! Did someone follow us and I didn’t notice!)  
   
As the door closed, Raph watched Donnie take a peek over the couch to see who just came in, instantly the purple clad turtle turned white in utter pure fear, taking that as a clear sign that indeed someone did follow them, Raph grind his teeth, who would dare to intrude into his home!  
   
Turning around quickly drawing his sai to go into battle, he only stood down just as quickly, in disbelief.  
   
 _(I will be damned...)_  
   
There standing at the door, smiling welcomely, was someone he hasn’t seen for years, “Shit is that you Leatherhead? Damn, it has been a while!” Raph put away his sais extending his hand out to greet the alligator he thought he would never see again, after he left the city over 4 years ago.  
   
“It has been Raphael… is there something wrong with Donatello, he is looking at me oddly, like he doesn’t recognize me…” Leatherhead shook Raph’s hand, looking over the muscle turtle, staring at the turtle on the couch that only became more nervous under his eyes.  
   
“Oh yeah, that… rrr… How do I explain this… in short, he doesn’t, Donnie had an accident a while back and he is still recovering… Leo would be better at explaining it in details than me. Just don’t take it personally, he hasn’t met anyone new for some time and he is weary of anyone he doesn’t know,” Raph tried to explain, just as Leo came out of the Dojo followed by April.  
   
“Leatherhead, when did you get back into town?” Leo asked with a smile, happy to see the old friend again.  
   
“Yesterday, I would have been over sooner, but I was trying to get settled down into my old lab first. Oh? And who may this be?” Leatherhead turned his attention towards April, marveled over seeing another turtle and a female at that.  
   
“Oh, this is April,” Raph introduced her, “April, this is an old friend of ours Leatherhead, he left a while back, I guess even he couldn’t resist coming back to the Big Apple.”  
   
“Hi… umm is Donnie ok?” April looked over towards the living room, noticing Donnie was shaking like a leaf, he looked terrified, unsure why, wondering it had to do with a new face or not, she headed towards him quickly, trying to calm him down, only to have him look away from her, with his head low, whimpering.  
   
Raising an eye brow on the bizarre sight, Raph has never seen Donnie act in this manner, not that anyone new has ever come into Donnie’s life other than the kids, but still, he was acting more like he knew Leatherhead and feared him, then seeing him as some stranger.  
   
“Guys, I’m going to bring Donnie to his room, is that ok? I think this is too much for him, he needs a moment to grasp on the thought of someone new is around,” April called across the room, as she tried to get Donnie to follow her upstairs.  
   
 _(Why is Donnie so hesitant to follow her?)_  
   
“Do you need a hand?” Raph volunteered as April just shook her head in response.  
   
“I will be fine, can either of you help Mikey with the kids, it’s almost lunch time,” April asked, figuring she should stay with Donnie until his nerves settled down.  
   
“Sure thing, don’t worry April,” Leo answered her, just to cringe witnessing the massive grin that formed on Raph’s face, realizing once again he somehow volunteered himself to feed one of the munchkins…  
   
(Oh, thank you Leo, you’re such a good brother to give a helping hand!)  
   
Watching April disappear into Donnie’s room with Donnie, Raph turned his attention back to Leatherhead who seemed more lost than ever.  
   
“Kids? I do believe I have missed much in the past years that has gone by…” Leatherhead could only say, in complete surprise to hear there was kids?!  
   
“You have no idea,” Leo sighed, shaking his head, inviting the old friend in.  
   
\---------------------------------------******************---------------------------------------  
   
Sitting at the table the three mutants chatted up a storm, as the brothers brought Leatherhead up to speed.  
   
“I see, that is very misfortunate to hear about what happen to Donatello. You said he also fell off a roof and was in a coma as well?” Leatherhead sat back on his chair, processing the news.  
   
“Yeah, he cracked his shell and smashed April’s vehicle, all the while protecting her,” Raph said sadly still feeling he should have prevented that, only if he got to her old place quicker, that whole disaster would have been avoided, that almost torn his family apart.  
   
“With no one that you can trust, I take it that Donatello hasn’t had a proper screening, or test done on him? As for the young lady, she to hasn’t had her blood work looked at as well?”  Leatherhead leaned forward looking at the brothers.  
   
 _(He is right, she hasn’t nor has Donnie…)_  
   
“No on both accounts, with only Donnie having that capability, we have no one to do that for us anymore,” Leo answered, crossing his arms wearily, sometimes he wished Donnie wasn’t the only one that could do this, it’s been hard not having another person around to help out, it could have come in handy.  
   
“Then allow me to lend a hand, if it is all right with you Leonardo. I can give Donatello a proper diagnosis and see if there is anything else that could be hindering him. As for April, I can see if her blood work is fine and there are no unexpected anomalies that might have occurred during mutation, that no one is aware of, as well any threats to her health for being mutated into a turtle,” Leatherhead offered, as both brothers look at each other with a nod, this would be great, if they can find out about Donnie, maybe his illness is something that could be fixed right away, with the proper treatment.  
   
“That would be most appreciated Leatherhead, but first let me pass this on to April and Donnie, they both don’t know you and I want them to feel comfortable with this. I know April would be more than willing, but Donnie will be less, it will take him longer for him to allow you to do anything towards him,” Leo explained.  
   
Smiling, Leatherhead nodded, “That would be suspected in his condition. I will take simple tests to gain his trust, ones that I can do here in his lab, if permitted.”  
   
“Whatever you need Leatherhead, you know more about Donnie’s lab than any of us put together,” Leo stated feeling a wave of relief going over him.  
   
 _(If he is taking tests… maybe I should ask him…)_  
   
Biting his lip, Raph stared at his hands, contemplating if he should ask or not, “There is one more thing LH… By chance can you do a DNA test to determine a child’s birth father…?”  
   
“Raph!  I thought it was agreed neither you nor Donnie would question about who is the kids’ father is. April would never agree to it, why would you even ask such a thing?” Leo crossed his arms at Raph disappointed, he understood why Raph would be asking, but to determine the kids’ father might cause a wedge between his brothers and April, causing unnecessary problems.  
   
“I know that Leo… rrrr…. I… I just want to know that’s all! Hell April doesn’t have to find out or even Donnie at that. LH is going to take their blood anyways, right? So I will give a sample of mine on top of that. As for the kids, they need to be checked too, it’s not like we can see a doctor to see if they are healthy as well,” Raph growled.  
   
 _(Of course he is against it, what is so wrong in knowing who the father is, if I am the only one to know, it's not like I will change my views on them or April and Donnie…)_  
   
“Wait, you don’t know who the father is?” Leatherhead had that confused look again.  
   
“Well…” Raph rubbed his head shamefully, feeling a bit embarrassed at the same time, “Not really, it’s a long story, short… Donnie and I both… mated with April, so we have no clue who the father is.”  
   
“Oh… I think that is enough details, then I wanted to know on that. So other words, April was mutated and both you boys mated with her, I take it, it was mating season, or she was in heat for being a turtle,” Leatherhead shook his head.  
   
Biting his lip, Raph lowered his head, it did sound bad didn’t it, “Yeah, that was actually how it went down, so… can you do it?” Raph asked again, ignoring the protest from Leo, who narrowed his eyes at his younger brother.  
   
“I could… but if it’s against both the mother and Leonardo’s approval, I’m sorry Raphael I can not,” Leatherhead put the turtle’s request down.  
   
“Oh come on LH…” Raph started only to have Leo bark at him in disapproval, tugging the younger brother’s shell, forcing him to get closer to him, to show he put his foot down and he meant it and not to continue this conversation.  
   
“Raph that’s enough, leave it!” Leo growled daring Raph to go against his order.  
   
Grinding his teeth, Raph huffed, “Fine, whatever Leo!”  
   
 _(Damn it Leo, why don’t you just back off, this isn’t your business… it’s mine!)_  
   
“Umm... can I have help here please!” Mikey voice came from the stairs; quickly in response to his little brother’s plea for help, Leo got to his feet rushing forward to aid him.  
   
“What Leonardo doesn’t know won’t hurt him,” Leatherhead stated in a whisper, looking at Raph, hinting to him.  
   
“So you will do it then?” Raph said as low as he could, making sure the big brother had no clue what they were conspiring.  
   
“Yes, but let's not talk about it, to alarm Leonardo and upset him. All considering I too am curious to see who is the father... As well, I do strongly believe you have the right to know my friend.”  
   
“Thanks LH, now I should go help out, both Willow and Luke can be a handful, they both have the remarkable ability to stress, Leo out,” Raph beamed, overjoyed on the notion he was going to find out if he was the kids’ father or not.  
   
\-----------------------------------------********************-------------------------------------  
   
 **April POV**  
   
Curled up behind him, April held onto Donnie, stroking his head softly, as he clenched his pillow against his chest tightly, he hadn’t said a peep or move from his position, all the while staring at the door anxiously.  
   
 _(I wish he would calm down, why is he acting like this guy was going to hurt him?)_  
   
“Donnie, it’s ok, I know it’s scary to meet someone new, without warning. But your brothers seem to like him, they did say he was an old friend,” April said soothingly not stopping her actions.  
   
Yet her words would not reach him, with a sigh April tried another approached.  
   
Slowly she licked his neck, yet he shuddered as she did, retreating from her, with a thick aroma a fear seeping out of his pores.  
   
Confused April stared at him, this was the first time he has ever acted in this manner towards her affections; he was always so willing to receive them, so open, loving her giving him this kind of attention.  
   
“Donnie what is wrong? Did something happen?” April said slowly, tugging onto his shoulder, forcing him to rolled over onto his shell, so she could make eye contact with him.  
   
His eyes were wet with tears, red even, full of terror, like he was living through some nightmare.  
   
 _(Something is not right here, why do I get the feeling there is more to this than just having a stranger in his house.)_  
   
“Donnie, please talk to me, I’m your mate, we can talk about anything,” April gently rubbed his cheek, hoping it would get him to ease up and be more open towards her.  
   
Shaking his head, the purple clad turtle rolled over quickly, burying his beak into his pillow once again, shuddering under her arms, still unwilling to look at her or talk at that.  
   
 _(What should I do? How do I get him to talk, this isn’t healthy for him…)_  
   
“Umm Donnie? ...Why don’t I go get Raph or Leo, will that make you feel better?” April suggested, she didn’t know what to do, he needed to talk, but him refusing to talk to her wasn’t helping this situation at all.  
   
Getting to her feet April stepped over Donnie to get off the bed, yet only to be grabbed by the legs, as Donnie pulled her down into his arms with a strong hold, one that Donnie only has done once before, when he was having nightmares.  
   
“Don’t go… I don’t want to lose you…” Donnie whimpered, nuzzling his beak into her neck.  
   
“Lose me? Donnie what is going on?” April asked, unable to move, feeling how much more stronger Donnie was, compared to her.  
   
“Please don’t go… not until he is gone… I don’t want to lose you,” Donnie repeated, adding ‘until he is gone’, was he talking about Leatherhead? Why would Donnie think he would lose her if he was here?  
   
 _(Damn… I don’t believe asking Donnie any more questions will get me anywhere, I guess the only thing I can do is wait and try to ease him. Why is he so scared of Leatherhead, is it because Donnie doesn’t know him? Or is it that Donnie has it in his head, because there is someone new, that person could be a threat towards him? But what about the 'losing me' comment?… He really doesn’t think that Leatherhead would take me away does he? I know Donnie is still very dependent on me, but still, is the thought of me leaving, still makes him feel uneasy and giving birth to this odd behavior?…)_  
   
“Ok Donnie I won’t leave, but you have to stop crying and relax. Please don’t push me away, you promise me, you will never do that to me again, remember?” April rubbed Donnie’s arm softly, letting out a low churr.  
   
“I.. I remember April… sorry,” Donnie apologized easing his grip around April into a gentle hold, nuzzling her neck lovingly, letting out some churrs as his offering to her for forgiveness.  
   
Smiling April pressed into him, giving him some churrs back, as well licking him on the cheek as her way to say I forgive you.


	5. Some truths must not be told…

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Two years later after April gave birth to two eggs, Donnie is starting to have odd dreams, as he continues to struggle with his illness. To top it off, events start to unfold, that the dankness can't kept secret anymore, as Donnie and Aprils past starts to come to the light, is it a good thing or a sign that worse things are still to come, shattering the mirrors of their minds they hold so dearly to protect. (TMNT CC are AU based on 2003 versions, April is 25 as the turtles are 22) Pov will switch between Donnie, April and Raph.

**Donnie POV**  
   
Nervously Donnie shook uncontrollably, as both April and Leo tried to comfort the poor turtle’s nerves, with either one on each side of him, both did what they could, April rubbed his shoulder as Leo gently squeezed, reminding the purple clad turtle brother that he was there.  
   
Yet no amount of effort could bring him peace, as he anxiously eyed the large alligator that moved about in his old lab, part of him didn’t appreciate this guy waltzing around as if the massive mutant owned it, the other issue that hinder him, was he couldn’t push aside what happened in the sewers.  
   
Without a shadow of a doubt, this was the same monster that threatened him and his family, how could they trust him? How could they not see through his so called smile, his fake friendly state?  
   
(I don’t care they say he is an old friend… Why would I be friends with such a cruel person like him?)  
   
Biting his lip, almost jumping out of his shell, Donnie trembled as the alligator directed his attention towards him, holding onto a syringe in one hand, while slowly making his way towards him flashing an amusing smile.  
   
Instantly Leo and April reacted with kind words, stating that the alligator wasn’t going to harm him, only wanting to draw blood nothing more.  
   
“Donnie it will be ok, it won’t hurt,” April said soothingly, rubbing his head.  
   
“Why… why does he have to do that?!” Donnie tried to scramble back on the medical bed, only to feel his shell tightly, pressing against Leo’s plastron, while the big brother loomed over him.  
   
“Donnie calm down, he needs to do it for some test to see if you’re healthy, nothing more, later he will be doing the same towards April and the kids,” Leo sighed, holding his position, though having Donnie’s shell so firmly against his stomach was starting to bring some discomfort to him.  
   
“I’m healthy! Why… why... him…” Donnie shook his head violently wishing they would let him go.  
   
Brushing his cheek lovingly, April directed Donnie to look at her as she pressed her beak against his, “Yes, I know Donnie, but we need to know if there isn’t anything else wrong with you that could be hindering you with your recovery… Please Donnie, trust me, I would never do anything to you that would harm you.”  
   
(I trust you, him I don’t…)  
   
Before Donnie could say another word, a sharp pinch could be felt on his arm, accompanied by the feeling of Leo’s firm hand holding his arm in place, quickly Donnie tried to turn his head, yet April wouldn’t allow it, holding him firmly, yet gently with her hands on his cheeks, forcing him to keep all eyes on her.  
   
(NO no no no!!)  
   
Whimpering Donnie shuttered, as feelings of dread wash over him, over the fact he was being overpowered by the two people he cared much for and trusted, how could they trust the alligator, how could they let that monster do this to him?!  
   
Done, April and Leo let go of Donnie as he stared into the abyss, eyes full of tears, while the two turtles exchanged looks of guilt, neither of them wanted to resort to this, but after attempting to drag Donnie into the lab for an hour, then an hour more desperately convincing Donnie there was nothing to fear, both were at the point they just wanted this done and over with.  
   
Avoiding the alligator, Donnie could feel his smile over the great accomplishment of drawing his blood, sadly to his dismay, the other two didn’t notice anything out of the ordinary of the alligator’s demeanor.  
   
That said Donnie could tell, knowing very well it wasn’t his imagination, deep down Donnie was positive that the giant was up to something, for many questions plagued him, that only brought him closer to this conclusion.  
   
For instance, why did the alligator attacked him, then not moments later show up at his front door with open arms, like some lost friend, making it seem like the incident in the sewers never occurred?  
   
Was he making sure Donnie didn’t usher a word of their meeting?  
   
Feeling weary, Donnie wanted to leave now, they got the blood sample, he didn’t want to be in there a second longer.  
   
(Maybe I should cry? I don’t want to upset April… but I don’t want to be here anymore and I have to get her away from him as well… What if he hurts her?)  
   
Playing out his plan, Donnie buried his beak into April’s warm plastron, giving out the most desperate saddest whimpers he could muster, hoping it was enough, as April gently wrapped her arms around him softly in response, “Sorry Donnie, I know that wasn’t easy for you… why don’t we go and see the kids.”  
  
More than eager to comply, Donnie nodded only to cringe afterwards, as the alligator spoke up in protest, “Actually April, I was hoping to have a one and one conversation with you, as well perform some tests, to help determine your health.”  
   
“Oh really… ok,” April stuttered suddenly, feeling Donnie pressing into her tighter, showing he wasn’t too thrilled on the idea, not wanting her to do this.  
   
Sighing Leo firmly squeezed Donnie’s shoulder, “Donnie its ok, why don’t we go check on the kids instead.”  
   
“No…” Donnie whimpered more, wrapping his arms around April firmly, how could he dare to leave her with this man, behind close doors at that, all Donnie wanted was to protect her.  
   
(I can’t let her be with him, he will hurt her, he will hurt her!)  
   
Biting his lip, Leo looked at April for some support, considering she was the only one capable at the moment to get through to his brother, which in turn Leo felt helpless at the current moment, feeling awful to be so demanding with his little brother, all the while only wanting to comfort him as a brother, not act so much like a leader.  
   
“Donnie it will be fine, don’t worry. Please do this for me, I will be here, no harm will come to me, I promise,” April cooed, kissing Donnie on the head, feeling his hot tears.  
   
Sniffling Donnie didn’t want to, yet he could feel the grip on his shoulder tighten, as he could smell Leo’s disappointment, over his outburst and actions.  
   
What seemed like hours, finally caving in, Donnie lets go of his love regretfully.  
   
(Leo, he better not hurt her… If he does… it will be entirely all your fault! And… and I will never forgive you!!!)  
   
\-----------------------------------******************-----------------------------------  
  
 **April Pov**  
   
Silently she sat there, holding in her sighs, while she watched Leo escort Donnie out of the lab, watching warily as the door shut behind them, sure she knew the guys insisted Leatherhead was a friend, but the way he look at her at times… only brought her shivers.  
   
She couldn’t explain it, maybe he was in awe that there was a female turtle now, this must seem very new to him?  
   
“Now April, I will be needing some blood please,” Leatherhead came towards her with a syringe withdrawing some blood, as April couldn’t stomach the sight, looking away quickly.  
   
“Um Leatherhead what is it exactly do you want to talk to me about?” April asked nervously, she started to feel awkward being alone with this stranger.  
   
(April stop acting like Donnie, remember the boys wouldn’t trust him if he was a threat, besides Raph talks about him with much regard, and Raph would never put you in harms way.)  
   
“Ah yes, that. I would like to discuss a personal matter that I notice no one has been willing to go into great depth. Figuring it involves you, they were probably respecting you and letting you bring me up to speed,” Leatherhead placed a piece of gauze over her arm insisting her to hold it there.  
   
“Ok, what is it?” April asked, pressing her free hand firmly on the gauze.  
   
“It’s the matter surrounding your mutation, for instance, if I am to determine your health, I must know the nature of it, to make sure I cover all my bases.”  
   
Shifting uneasily April looked away, “It was an accident…”  
   
Raising an eyebrow Leatherhead sighed, “As I have been told, please understand April, it is apparent I receive more information, then just it was an accident. For instance, what was involved, mutagen, machine, other?”  
   
Biting her lip, April debated on what to do or say, “Leatherhead I was told you were friends with Donnie and been in his lab more times then not… Am I correct?”  
   
Leaning against Donnie’s desk the alligator nodded in response, “Indeed we were best of friends; sadly he doesn’t remember me…”  
   
(Maybe it is best I show him… I.. I don’t want him to know Donnie was involved, he might not understand the condition Donnie was in and perceive Donnie in some ill light.)  
   
“I see… then… I will show you…” April slowly got up, as Leatherhead looked at her sideways.  
   
“Show me?”  
   
Making her way to the archway in the back, that was open long ago, now had a steel door on it with a padlock, the family felt it was necessary to store all Donnie’s inventions that could be harmful or they had no clue what it was, within.  
   
To insure Donnie never finds them, not until he was well enough, as well the safety of the kids were also in the air, they locked it up, with only having Leo and April knowing the code.  
Firmly gripping the padlock, April looked at it, was this necessary, should she dare show Leatherhead, but he was aware of what Donnie had in his lab, maybe he would understand the process more, that she went through so many years ago.  
   
Unlocking it, April opened the doors, as a stale air rushed out, making her beak cringe, trying not to sneeze she held it, letting the fit pass by.  
   
Squinting into the dark room, April found the light switch turning it on, as she cast her gaze over the inventions nervously, she wasn’t too fond in being inside this room, many of the machines gave her the creeps, as others were too odd for her to even fandom what they were for.  
   
“So this is where you have stored all his stuff, I was wondering,” Leatherhead came in, running his finger over the dust that was building up, giving the alligator the impression this room and its inventions within, haven’t been used for some time.  
   
“Yes, it is, it was a safety precaution for having two hatchlings about, we didn’t want them to play with this stuff,” April told the alligator, only allowing him to know half the truth.  
   
“I fully understand, some of these aren't to not safe for anyone that isn’t fully aware of their functions… So April what is it that you wanted to show me?”  
   
Turning her attention towards the corner that had a machine covered by a sheet, April took a hold of its corner, feeling weary to uncover it, she didn’t like looking at it, for it only inspired nightmares, making her relive that night… the night Donnie mutated her to make her understand him, in order for him to be able to ask her to become his mate…  
   
With a deep breath, feeling her muscles reluctantly not willing to comply with her, she managed to take the sheet as a gasp came from Leatherhead as soon as she did.  
   
(I will take it, he knows about this machine after all…)  
   
White, the alligator went to it, with wide eyes, looking around for the power source, turning it on, as he ignored April, becoming consumed by it, evaluating the information that flashed on the screen, unsure what he was looking at, April remained silent.  
   
Then suddenly the air around the room turned dark and violent, as April got a whiff of the alligator’s scent, Leatherhead was furious, as he gripped the side of the panel hard not daring to look at April, as he lowered his head letting out a cursive growl.  
   
“Did Donnie do this!” the alligator demanded viciously.  
   
Gulping, feeling uneasy of his sudden mood swing, April took a couple steps back, “No… why would you ask?”  
   
(Why did he consider it was Donnie, right away?)  
   
“Because the calculation are too precise, no way any of the other brothers have the capability to program this machine, to suit your DNA!”  the alligator growled flashing a look at April in a hot rage, as his eyes slit.  
   
(Umm… Should I run?)  
   
Feeling uncomfortable, unwilling to stay there any longer, April took another step back in utter fear, yet to her dismay, the alligator move quickly forward grabbing her arm forcefully, before she could attempt to flee.  
   
Narrowing his eyes, the alligator growled more, “Well are you going to tell me the truth child! Did the blasted turtle do this to you!?”  
   
Shaking in pure horror, April desperately pulled her arm, that throb painfully under his strength, “Let me go! Let me go!!”  
       
“TELL ME!” Leatherhead didn’t let go, tightening his grip all the more, for April’s unwillingness of giving him the information on what really happened.  
   
Suddenly something stirred, catching the alligator’s attention, someone was coming, quickly the alligator let go of April’s arm, once free she didn’t dare to stick around, bolting out of the room, almost slamming into Raph in the process.  
   
Startled and overly shock by what just happened; she didn’t stop, passing him by while crying heavily, not even saying a word to Raph in the process, leaving the red clad turtle in a cloud of confusion.  
   
\-------------------------------------****************---------------------------  
   
 **Raph Pov**  
   
Startled the red clad turtle turned to April to say something, only to be distracted by Leatherhead, which his voice came from the room no one was allowed to venture in.  
   
“I’m sorry… I…” Leatherhead’s face went grim in his shame, as his knees buckled under him, causing the alligator to fall to the floor, as he placed his head in his hands.  
   
Flashing a look towards the lab not able to see April anymore, then back to his friend on the floor, Raph could only sigh, unsure what was going on.  
   
(What happened?)  
   
“What are you sorry about?” Raph walked towards the alligator, flashing a look at his red clad friend, Leatherhead bit his lip.  
   
“I lost my sanity… I let my instincts take a hold of me and I might have hurt the young turtle… I’m soo sorry…” Leatherhead wept.  
   
(Ah shit… I thought he was over that issue…)  
   
Debating whether he was best to go after April to explain to her what probably happened or comfort his depressed friend, Raph picked Leatherhead, on the very notion that by now Leo must have noticed the red head’s distress by now and was calming her down at that very moment.  
   
“LH, it’s ok… what happened, to bring it on this time around?” Raph crossed his arms, just coming to the realization the machine that was used on April was on, was that the cause?  
   
“I’m sorry my friend, April showed me the device that was used on her, after evaluating it, I lost it… The mere thought that Donnie would use it on a human being, was too much to bare… So I asked the young female if it was Donnie, for I know you all told me of his condition and it would be unlikely… yet she would not usher a word… and one thing led to another…”  
   
Biting his lip, Raph shook his head, “Don’t blame her, she… no… we all promise not to bring this up, for Donnie doesn’t remember ever doing it.”  
   
Quickly flashing a look the alligator turned white, as he was lost for words, finding it hard to speak, “So… so it was him… how… why! Surely there must be some good reason… Please Raphael, tell me, I must know.”  
   
Giving in, Raph not seeing the harm in this, personally, he truly believed that Leatherhead needed to know what conspired that night, before, his silence was just out of respect for both April and Donnie, yet now it was apparent there was no way avoiding it, even if he had to take the responsibility for bringing Leatherhead up to speed, “Ok.. but first understand one thing LH. Never, I mean never, mention this to Donnie. Not a word, not even bringing back up this topic afterwards, please… we don’t want Donnie to know… For the last time… he tried to kill himself…”


	6. (Home Bitter Home)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Two years later after April gave birth to two eggs, Donnie is starting to have odd dreams, as he continues to struggle with his illness. To top it off, events start to unfold, that the dankness can't kept secret anymore, as Donnie and Aprils past starts to come to the light, is it a good thing or a sign that worse things are still to come, shattering the mirrors of their minds they hold so dearly to protect. (TMNT CC are AU based on 2003 versions, April is 25 as the turtles are 22) Pov will switch between Donnie, April and Raph.

**Donnie Pov**  
   
Smiling, nuzzling his beak, letting out a cheerful churr, Donnie cuddled with little Willow.  
   
The small child thrilled of this treatment smiled brightly, churring back, yawning when she became comfortable within his arms.  
   
“Funny she calms down right away in your arms Donnie,” Leo admitted, with a hint of jealousy, why couldn’t the young turtles be like that with him?  
   
Looking up at his big brother, Donnie chuckled making Leo tilt his head in wonder, “That is because you don’t show them love.”  
   
“I do too!” Leo spat becoming insulted by the statement; he does love them, why would Donnie say such a thing?  
   
_(Silly Leo.)_  
   
“Not in the way they want you to,” Donnie got up placing Willow in Leo’s arms.  
   
Instantly the elder brother stiffened up, gulping hard, waiting for the fireworks, that didn’t take long to happen.  
   
“See… Donnie, she is crying…” Leo bit his lip in frustration, feeling his head throbbing again.  
   
“Show her that you love her,” Donnie sat on the couch next to Leo, watching the older brother eagerly.  
   
Not a second after he did, Willow extended her arms, almost begging Donnie to take her back, then be left in the care of her blue clad uncle.  
   
_(Oh Willow, Uncle Leo will love you, you will see.)_  
   
“I’m holding her, isn’t that enough? I even rock her…” Leo panicked, feeling the stress wash over him, he wanted to do anything, then this, why did he have such a hard time handling these kids?  
   
_(Why doesn’t Leo understand? Willow is just like us. Why does he always act she is some strange thing, becoming so uncomfortable around her?)_  
   
“But you’re not churring to her. Leo, she’s a turtle…. she likes to be churred too, like we do,” Donnie pointed out, watching Leo’s face turning white, on the mere idea of that act.  
   
Feeling his voice tremble, though he couldn’t stop it, Leo felt at a lost, “Churr?! …I …I can’t…”  
   
_(Leo can’t churr? I don’t understand…)_  
   
“Why?” Donnie tilted his head, unsure why Leo couldn’t, he could, April could, even Mikey and Raph can.  
   
“I…” Leo cleared his throat, noticing Mikey who was sitting there quietly, with an amusing smile on his lips.  
   
The orange clad turtle leaned on the edge of his chair waiting anxiously; no one has ever heard Leo churred before.  
   
“She wants you to Leo, do it for your niece,” Donnie played with Willows toes, making the child squeal happily, only to cry when Donnie stopped.  
   
_(You can do it big brother, come on, please do it for her.)_  
   
Biting his lip, taking a breath, Leo brought the child closer to him, nuzzling his beak into her neck, letting out a small nervous churr.  
   
As the sound reached the child’s ears, it startled her.  
   
Quickly she stopped her crying, looking at Leo very complex, unsure if he was the one that churred to her.  
   
The seconds pass by, while a cloud of silence fell, as all eyes were on the small turtle child, waiting to see how Willow would respond to this new experience.  
   
_(Willow, please accept him… Leo needs it, as much as you need him. At least he is trying, even if he isn’t perfect at it.)_  
   
Just when Leo thought she was about to continue her crying, she did the opposite, the young female churred back, grabbing his cheeks with her small hands, nuzzling her beak against his happily.  
   
“See, that wasn’t hard,” Donnie smiled, watching Leo turning red.  
   
“Well… umm… fine, but this doesn’t leave this room! You got that, the both of you?!” Leo snapped his head towards Mikey, daring him to make fun of this and see the consequences that would follow.  
   
Breaking into laughter Mikey almost rolled off the chair, startling Luke that was sleeping on his lap, “OH really? And who would I tell huh? Maybe the Foot?”  
Slapping the chair’s arm, Mikey roared, waving his hand, “Oh Mr. Foot Ninja, you should really consider to run! My older brother is not just a master of the sword, but his very cute feminine churr will strike utter fear into your soul.  
   
“Feminine!?” Leo flashed a look at Mikey angrily for the insult.  
   
Trying desperately to contain his laughter, Mikey smiled, “Well, it was on the high end there bro.”  
   
_(So what, if it was high… Willow liked it… Why is Mikey making fun of Leo?)_  
   
“I… I was nervous, I have never done it before!” Leo defended himself, rocking Willow, hoping this little spat wouldn’t upset her.  
   
“Oh is that your excuse, then do it again, let’s hear it,” Mikey grinned widened in glee, egging Leo on, he found this intriguing to see Leo so defensive like this.  
   
Such an event like this doesn’t occur so often, for no one gets under Leo’s skin so simply, and over a subject like this at that.  
   
 “Mikey…” Leo started, then stopped turning his head towards the slamming of the lab door, which also caught the other two brothers’ attention as well.  
   
In a heap of hot tears April ran up the stairs disappearing above.  
   
_(April?! Why is she crying?)_  
   
“Did something happen?” Mikey quietly asked, looking at Leo for an answer.  
   
Getting up, Leo was about to pass Willow to Donnie, only to have the younger brother shake his head, not taking his eyes off of the staircase, “Please can I go to her.”  
   
_(Say yes, she needs me Leo.)_  
   
Biting his lip, Leo sat back down, “Ok Donnie, I will be up there in a moment then.”  
   
_(April I’m coming.)_  
   
Donnie nodded quickly, making his leave with much haste. What happened in the lab? Why was April crying, did that alligator hurt her? If so, why didn’t Raph do something?  
   
Donnie swore he saw his older brother enter not to long before hand, making him feel better on the notion April was in that room alone, considering Raph wouldn’t let anything happen to his mate.  
   
Yet something did…  
   
_(Raph, why are you not going after her? April is clearly upset and you’re not around… What would have happened, that you wouldn’t take the moment to comfort her?)_  
   
\--------------*********--------------  
   
Slowly opening the door to April’s room that she occasionally used, the thick aroma of fear, mixed with stress, with a dash of saltiness, invaded his nostrils.  
   
The room was cast in darkness; luckily Donnie could make out April’s figure on the bed.  
   
_(She is really upset.)_  
   
Closing the door behind him Donnie made his way to her, even she by now should have noticed him, yet didn’t respond.  
   
Gently placing his hand on her shoulders, April’s sobbing grew louder, as she pulled her head from her pillow looking into his brown eyes.  
   
Tears streamed down her face, her expression was a mix of confusion and doubt, instantly she flung into his arms, trembling against him.  
   
“April… what happened?” Donnie whispered, trying his best to steady his voice, to sounded supporting.  
   
“Nothing… Donnie, please don’t ask…” April whimpered pressing herself tighter into him.  
   
Sighing Donnie didn’t argue, fearing what she would tell him, besides he didn’t want to upset her anymore than she was.  
   
Sitting on the bed, fully, Donnie swooped April up, laying her on his lap, holding her, rocking her, giving her small churrs to soothe her nerves.  
   
_(If you don’t want to talk about it, I am ok with that. Either way I will not leave you alone my beautiful mate.)_  
   
\------------------------------------**************------------------  
   
Comforting her the best he was capable of, Donnie didn’t let her go, what felt like hours, suddenly a knock came from the door, reminding the turtle that his older brother did mention he would come around to check on her.  
   
_(I know Leo said he will be up here later… but what if it isn’t him?!)_  
   
Placing his attention to the door, Donnie watched it nervously, only to settle down, once he realized it was Leo after all.  
   
The blue clad brother, with a worried expression on his face, tried to hide his thoughts from his younger brother, but was doing a poor job at it.  
   
_(What is wrong with Leo?)_  
   
“Sorry to disturb you both, but April may I have a word with you alone?” Leo walked up to the bed, reading April’s face that had signs that she hasn’t stop crying.  
   
“I…” April only said shyly, not wanting Donnie to go.  
   
“It will be brief, I promise. It’s just that this matter is best to be discussed in privacy. Sorry Donnie,” Leo insisted waiting for April to answer.  
   
_(Why? I want to stay, April tell him I have to stay.)_  
   
Sighing April twirled her hair around her finger, giving in, “Donnie can you please leave for a second, I should talk to your brother.”  
   
“But… April…” Donnie protested, biting his lip.  
   
_(Don’t send me away…)_  
   
Smiling sweetly April warmly stroked his cheek, “Thank you Donnie for staying with me, I will be fine, it’s Leo remember.”  
   
_(So?)_  
   
“I know that… Okay April… But,” Donnie fidgeted staring into her eyes, reluctant to leave, regardless if it was Leo he was leaving her with, “Can I come back later and stay with you longer? Please.”  
   
“Sure, in a bit,” April smiled weakly, kissing him on the head, before he took his leave, that took much effort on his behalf.  
   
\----------------------------****************-------------------------------  
   
**April POV**  
   
Once alone in the room, the male turtle took a seat on the edge of the bed, looking at his hands, like he was contemplating on how to start the conversation.  
   
“April about what happened in the lab, between you and Leatherhead,” Leo slowly started watching April in the corner of his eye.  
   
_(How much does he know?)_  
   
“What about it,” April pulled one of her pillows pressing it against her chest firmly.  
   
“Well, I talk to Leatherhead and got his side of the story. So I think there are some things you should know about him.”  
   
_(Is Leo defending him after what he did?!)_  
   
“KNOW ABOUT HIM!!” April blew up, trembling in a heap of anger, “You told me he was trustworthy LEO! He attacked me! He went nuts on me!! Yet you act like this means nothing!!!”  
   
Taking a breath, Leo sat there calm, showing no signs of any emotions, letting April to cool down before he continued,” I understand that and he even admitted in doing so…”  
   
_(He admitted it? Yet you still act fine over this? What the hell!)_  
   
“So because he admitted that he hurt me, means he gets scott free!? Just like that!” April growled, throwing her pillow at Leo’s head.  
   
With a sigh, Leo took the hit from the pillow, not bothering to dodge it or catch it, even though it would have been a simple task, “That’s not what I am implying.”  
   
“Then what are you implying,” April crossed her arms narrowing her eyes at the blue clad turtle that she put much trust in.  
   
_(This has to be good Leo or I swear!)_  
   
“If you stop interrupting me, I will get to that,” Leo pointed out, lashing out at her, sounding a bit harsher then he attended to come across, making April retreat quickly, closing her mouth in response.  
   
_(…)_  
   
Rubbing his head Leo let out another sigh, he had to watch how he acted towards April, it wasn’t the same as when it came to Mikey or Raph, though her temper at times matched Raph’s on many levels, he had to admit.  
   
“Leatherhead has some issues and no I am not stating it’s an excuse for his demeanor towards you. In truth, I thought he was over them, I guess I was wrong, so please accept my apologies for this. You see in the past Leatherhead was abducted by a madman that did things to him. After that he was having trouble controlling his instincts, mainly his anger. When provoke he would lose all self control, reverting to a beast… I guess it’s the best way to describe it.”  
Sitting back on the bed, April chewed on her nail, deep in thought.  
   
(So someone tortured him? Even so, why didn’t Leo mention that, or dare to leave me alone with him, he is a stranger after all to me. Damn it, Leo that was not fair that you did that, regardless you were protecting him as a friend!)  
   
“You thought he had this issue, under control? Is that why you fail to mention it?” April looked up at Leo.  
   
“Yes, I would have said something, if I only knew… I’m sorry April, this is my fault. I should have questioned him on this matter before ever allowing him to be alone with you.”  
   
“Well, you should have… but I know you wouldn’t have intentionally put me in danger.”  
   
“April, Leatherhead isn’t a danger…” Leo started only to be interrupted.  
   
_(Not a danger? Really? How dare you say that! He is!)_  
   
“No excuses Leo! I don’t know him, nor does Donnie at that. So in turn, I think it is best he is not left alone with the children or me. As for Donnie, please don’t allow him alone with Donnie!” April pleaded with Leo, knowing it was his decision not hers in the end, when it came to Donnie.  
   
_(Leo please don’t leave him alone with Donnie, think about your brother, not your ideal of Leatherhead. Donnie’s safety is more important, he can’t protect himself, if this alligator tries to hurt him!)_  
   
Biting his lip, Leo slowly nodded to her request, “Then I will set the rules, if he wishes to be allowed to come to the lair, he will be restricted to the lab only if I, Raph or Mikey are not around. He will not be allowed to be alone with you, Donnie or the kids otherwise. Is that satisfactory, to you April?”  
   
“Yes, thank you Leo,” April let a breath out of relief, though she didn’t like the idea the alligator was there period.  
   
“Good, I will tell the others and make sure it is carried out. April, I hope this event didn’t tarnish our relationship, or your trust of ours,” Leo asked worriedly.  
   
_(Why would he ask such a thing?)_  
   
Going towards him April wrapped her arms around the turtle, placing her head on his shoulder, “No, it would take more than that, for that to happen. Leo, for future reference no more keeping such secrets in the dark. We have a family to take care of and have to think about their well being before all else.”  
   
Patting her on the head, Leo sighed, “I know, I promise. For now, give Leatherhead a chance, he can still help Donnie.”  
   
_(… I will never give him a chance… I don’t care if he can help Donnie, I don’t trust him. Something about him scares me, why does this fear with him, seems so familiar?)_  
   
\---------------------------------------****************---------------------


	7. (Who was I? Am I really Donatello?)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Two years later after April gave birth to two eggs, Donnie is starting to have odd dreams, as he continues to struggle with his illness. To top it off, events start to unfold, that the dankness can't kept secret anymore, as Donnie and Aprils past starts to come to the light, is it a good thing or a sign that worse things are still to come, shattering the mirrors of their minds they hold so dearly to protect. (TMNT CC are AU based on 2003 versions, April is 25 as the turtles are 22) Pov will switch between Donnie, April and Raph.  
> Disclaimer: The TMNT isn’t mine and this is just a fan fiction writing. No money is being made on this story.

_**Donnie POV**_  
   
Sitting there quietly Donnie stared at the closed lab door, contemplating if he should dare.  
   
For the past 5 minutes hovering there at the stairwell unable to muster the courage to take another step towards the bottom, all he could do was wonder, rubbing his hands nervously while he did.  
   
What happened, did the alligator hurt his love, did he threaten his precious mate, after the fiend already made it clear as day to him, that if he kept his mouth shut no harm will come to his family?!  
  
(He said he will not harm them!! He told me to keep quiet and I did so!!)  
   
Clenching his fist, narrowing his eyes, Donnie had enough.  
   
As it stands, Raph was still in there, so it was safe for him to confront the alligator once and for all.  
   
There was no doubt in the purple clad turtle’s mind that his big brother could take the alligator, if it came to that.  
   
Not that he really wanted to put Raph in such a situation, but if this doesn’t stop now, Leatherhead would hurt any of them, at any given moment.  
   
Though the alligator has his brothers’ trust, and what Donnie understood about trust, it was powerful and that monster was using it for his own selfish benefits!  
   
Making his way to the door, full of confidence, that even surprised him; Donnie entered the lab without a second thought, which was until he was three steps in.  
   
An eerie silence lingered there thick the air, almost suffocating him.  
   
The lab as far he could tell was empty, with no sign of Raph or Leatherhead at that.  
   
(Where did they go?)  
   
Keeping his hand steady, Donnie entered further looking wildly at the shelves that he knew were all packed up the last time he was allowed to enter the lab.  
   
Yet now, they were all laid out, filled with all kinds of items to be observed by anyone that cared.  
   
(Did Leatherhead do this? Why?)  
   
Sure, he was in the room earlier that day, but being too occupied with not wanting to be in there, he never noticed until now.  
   
Walking up to the shelves ghosting his finger over the items, Donnie tilted his head.  
   
(Is this how my lab use to look like? Did I really have all this stuff? I don’t get it, what is all this? Why would I keep it, what is the purpose of them? This is really weird, I know my brothers mention before who I use to be… but still who was I really?)  
   
Shaking his head, Donnie held himself, he felt off being in here, not due the fact that he was alone, no… it was the fact these items were a part of his past, a past he has no recollection of.  
   
It felt sad in a way looking at these things, like they were mocking him, telling him this was part of who he was, yet he couldn’t fathom on who that could have been.  
   
Falling into a depression that caught him up in a tidal wave, Donnie looked away quickly; he couldn’t bear looking at these shelves anymore.  
   
Just as he was about to make his way out of this showcase of the past, suddenly something caught his eye.  
   
The back room, the room he knew was locked up for good reason; well that’s what he was told.  
   
Yet it was now wide open?  
   
(Wait, I thought that door was always locked up, they told me I was never allowed in there… but it’s open… should I?)  
   
Staring at the door, feeling the spark of curiosity that came over him, he was unable to fight it.  
   
It didn’t help his case with this strong temptation, calling him to go take a peek, begging him to venture through the forbidden archway and finally find out first hand why he was never allowed in there.  
   
Unable to resist this feeling dwelling within, Donnie surrendered to the little voice that told him to take the chance, what harm could it do?  
   
Taking slow, cautious steps forward, Donnie walked through the stone archway that brought him to the section of the lab, he swore he never seen before, until his eyes fell upon it.  
   
Instantly a rush of confusing emotions caught him, as he was dumbfounded on why this place looked so familiar to him.  
   
(This place…)  
   
\-------------************-----------------------  
   
The room, like a museum of the past, fragments of events; everything within it called to him.  
   
To think seeing the first part of the lab back to its original state felt slightly disturbing, this was worse, this place clawed into him, trying to bring something back to the surface.  
   
Donnie suddenly took a step forward, it was like his legs had a mind of their own, disobeying his orders to stop, and turn back.  
   
No matter how much he wanted to run away, he couldn’t, it was like his body was on a mission and it would do nothing else.  
   
Finally, when he thought he would just walk forever, he found himself stopping in front of a machine.  
   
Looking at the massive machine that seemed it was once covered up, yet someone took its old cloth cover off, Donnie stared at it in utter fear, as a lingering thought came to him… he recognized it!  
   
(No…no no no…It can’t be, could it? That was a nightmare… it was just a dream!!! This thing can’t exist!!)  
   
Slowly, Donnie put his hand on it.  
   
Though yet again, he didn’t intend to do that, his hand did it on its own, feeling the smooth metal surface, while a slight grin came to his lips that he swore he didn’t do either.  
   
“YOU USED IT ON HER DIDN’T YOU! To mutate her into a turtle!” a growl came from behind him within the shadows, near the entrance of the room.  
   
The voice fueled by anger, caught the turtle by surprise, bringing a thick sense of dread that overcame Donnie, yet oddly, his body didn’t respond to it, it kept its composure, not even trembling, as it should have been.  
   
Slowly Donatello tilted his head towards the enraged alligator, curling his grin more, thrilled at seeing the alligator in such a rage, “So? And your point is?”  
   
(What is going on! I didn’t want to say that!! Why can’t I move… why…)  
   
**< SHUT UP I CAN'T THINK WITH YOUR WHINING!>** A voice within him boomed silencing Donnie as he helplessly watched this event unfolding, in a mist of confusion.  
   
Narrowing his eyes, the alligator, clenched his fist, “What?!”  
   
“You heard me all too well, Leatherhead! So what if I did?! This is my lab is it not? These are my machines, to use in any manner that pleases me.”  
   
(I didn’t, I didn’t!) Donnie screamed at himself, why would he admit to this, he didn’t do anything to April, he would never hurt her… It was a dream, nothing more.  
   
As if the inner voice was quite amused by his sniveling, it began to burst into laughter, not limited towards Donnie, yet vocally for even Leatherhead to hear as well.  
   
**< Idiot! You did perform such an unspeakable act. Don’t you remember? It was your obsession of claiming that woman as your own, which drove you into doing so. You hurt her Donnie-boy! You pathetic wimp, you turned her into a turtle for your own selfish reasons… Well, after I gave you the instructions to make such a thing possible, that is.>**  
  
(What… who… who are you?!)  
   
**< Isn’t it painfully obvious, that I am you. All though I hate to admit such a vile fact, but the truth, unfortunately is the truth. Now shut your mouth, you asinine child! I have some business to discuss with your dear old friend.> ** The voiced commanded, forcing Donnie into submission.  
   
Suddenly feeling trapped, as if there were chains holding him at bay, Donnie was unable to comment any further, only to observe within the dark depths of his mind.  
   
Watching helplessly as his body was overrun by something he truly couldn’t comprehend.  
   
“So you were playing a trick after all? Making them all think you’re some simple minded turtle, nothing like the old you,” Leatherhead straitened up, clapping his hand together in a mocking tone.  
   
Shrugging Donatello smirked, “What would you have suspected Leatherhead from me? Now let’s get down to business shall we?”  
   
“So right to business I see…”  
   
“Indeed, I prefer not to waste what little time I have, on such trivial matters as we are discussing thus far,” Donatello crossed his arms, leaning against the machine, not taking his eyes off of the curious alligator.  
   
“What do you mean by little time?” Leatherhead tilted his head trying to read the turtle.  
   
“That is insignificant compare to what is truly at hand, like I said back to business. For starters I want you to leave; I prefer not to see your inferior presence in my lab again! How dare you come in here in the first place, like you own it!” Donatello snarled, throwing his hand to the side, to indicate to Leatherhead were the door was.  
   
Bellowing, Leatherhead shook his head in amusement, “Oh is that so? To bad Donatello, you broke our agreement, not to touch the girl! Do you think I will just fall back to your demand? The task was simple, even for you. You were to observe her, collect the data and not interact with her or….”  
   
The alligator rage returned, as his eyes slit, “Take action towards her for own personal infatuations!”  
   
“My own personal infatuations you say? Oh that is rich, coming from you…. You stand there stating I am the one lying, deceiving my own family. Yet you have been lying for years! You’re just a mutant alligator, please. We both know that is bullshit, or do I have to remind you that I too can play this game and black mail you if you don’t do what I ask?!” Donnie moved forward, standing his ground, challenging the big alligator to dare to defy him.  
   
“You wouldn’t dare Donatello,” Leatherhead snarled, thrusting his hand forward, aiming for Donatello’s throat.  
   
Dodging with ease, Donatello grabbed it in response throwing the helpless alligator to the side, like he was some rag doll.  
   
Narrowing his eyes, Donatello had enough of this, if this alligator won’t heed his words, then action was in order to get his message out clear.  
   
Noticing the thick long metal pipe that just laid there with his name on it, Donatello gladly picked it up, examining it with blood lust eyes.  
   
It would suit his needs very well, as he ran his thick finger over it admiring the smoothness of it surface and how much he knew it would hurt the pathetic mutant.  
   
Letting the pipe’s edge to kiss the concrete floor, Donatello dragged it slowly towards Leatherhead, enjoying the sound it made.  
   
Once he reached the large alligator that was still recovering from being thrown into one of the metal shelves, Donatello hovered over him, holding the pipe up high over his head.  
   
Grinning wildly, Donatello slammed it downward onto the huge mass before him.  
   
A delightful rush of ecstasy ran through his veins, watching the pipe coming into contact with the alligator’s body, hearing the helpless creature yelping in pain.  
   
Feeling the rush overtake him, the power, like a drug, filled his actions with no mercy.  
   
Again Donatello swung the pipe down, and again and again, grinning ear to ear, in pure enjoyment.  
   
Will licking his lips, admiring the blood that seeped out of the open wounds he caused.  
   
“You should have listened to me freak! You should have just heeded my warning, yet you have chosen the path to defy me?” Donatello barked, fascinated how tender the alligator flesh was getting from every strike of his weapon.  
   
“I’m sick of listening to you. I have become tiresome of obeying your demands. Those days are over, do you hear ME!” Donatello slammed the pipe as hard as he could against Leatherhead’s leg, hearing something snap from the impact.  
   
Instantly a rush of agonizing pain invaded the alligator, as he screamed bloody murder, “You… you lost it!”  
   
Throwing the pipe down Donatello snap his head back, letting out a roar of insanity.  
   
The room filled up with his madness, as he looked at his blood soak hands, then back to Leatherhead, noticing he might have gone a bit overboard, yet enjoyed every minute of it.  
   
“Not quite, I am claiming my territory monster, which includes the girl! So I advise that you clean yourself up and leave! Don’t you dare to defy me again or I will kill you,” Donatello leaned forward, giving a swift kick to Leatherhead’s side.  
   
Leaving Leatherhead in complete shock, curled up on the floor, bruised and beaten, Donatello left the room, heading towards his washroom he had in his lab to rinse off the blood in its sink.  
   
Once done, he took a look at himself in the mirror, instantly part of him was mortified.  
   
(That’s not me!)  
   
Sighing, Donatello shook his head, “I am you, you imbecile!”  
   
(No… no your not!!)  
   
“Listen, just be quiet! If you think Leatherhead threats over the truth being revealed, was unbearable to consider, mine are far worse!”  
   
(What… what do you mean?)  
   
“This incident doesn’t come out to the light. You leave it, forget about it, all that I care. Either way, don’t you dare tell a soul, not to Leonardo or our other brothers, especially to that woman!”  
   
(Why? If you’re me, then they are our family… Why would...)  
   
“Imbecile! Don’t you get this simple fact? You are talking to yourself, do you have any clue what that is called?”  
   
(No…)  
   
Holding his head, Donatello muttered under his breath, “Why are you so stupid?”  
   
(I… I’m not stupid!!)  
   
“Compare to me you are. I truly believe Michelangelo outranks you, disturbing as that maybe… Fine listen you simpleton, do you want them to lock us up? Do you want to loose your so call fuck toy?”  
   
(Her name is April! She is not that, she is more than that! I love her!)  
   
“Whatever, just leave this event unspoken, don’t usher a word. Not even a whisper about what happened or what Leatherhead did, do you got that! If you dare to defy me, I can take her away from you forever, just with a click of my fingers!” Donatello stated, staring at himself in the mirror, grinning wildly, leaving shivers down Donnie’s spine, as his face lightened in the mirror and he could see himself in it once again.  
   
Trembling the turtle was confused, was he dreaming, hallucinating? Did this really happen?  
   
Forcing himself from the sink, he re-entered the lab, noticing it was still silent.  
   
Slowly looking at his hands, Donnie didn’t know what to think.  
   
(This is just some nightmare… I have to leave, I can’t take it anymore.)  
   
Quickly exiting the lab, Donnie’s body didn’t want to stop; it was shaking so violently that the urge to puke was not far fetch of an achievement.  
   
Deep within, casting the swallowing darkness that shattered whatever ideal he had on who he was, it was no more now than some false reflections in a mirror.  
   
In the end he wanted to find a hole within his so called existence, in the far reaches of his mind and hide within its tall walls and never leave it again.


	8. (Cold Confusion)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Two years later after April gave birth to two eggs, Donnie is starting to have odd dreams, as he continues to struggle with his illness. To top it off, events start to unfold, that the dankness can't kept secret anymore, as Donnie and Aprils past starts to come to the light, is it a good thing or a sign that worse things are still to come, shattering the mirrors of their minds they hold so dearly to protect. (TMNT CC are AU based on 2003 versions, April is 25 as the turtles are 22) Pov will switch between Donnie, April and Raph.  
> Disclaimer: The TMNT isn’t mine and this is just a fan fiction writing. No money is being made on this story.

**Raph POV**  
   
Wiping down his muscles that very much enjoyed the nice lukewarm shower that fogged up the room, Raph was feeling quite content with himself.  
   
The red clad turtle touching his arms inch by inch, couldn’t help smirking at his well built frame, as part of him kind of wished he swooped up April and brought her in with him.  
   
Though he was fully aware she was upset over the misunderstanding in the lab, he knew he could have changed that quickly, just by letting her near this sexy body of his.  
   
All he needed to do was flexed his rippling arm muscles and puff out his chest and he would be made.  
   
Raph doing such an act without thought; sadly found the effort quite silly and pointless without a captivated audience, what was the point if she wasn’t there to see it?  
   
 _(Man, I really should have been more aggressive, more demanding? Or is that crossing the line with her. Sure, I do tend to be so at times, but there are limits… I really should have kidnapped her against her will… Of course she would have been pissed at first, but man I know she would be screaming for more in the end…)_  
   
Letting out a sigh of disappointment over a chance not taken, Raph finished off his shower, pulling down a fresh clean towel to dry himself with.  
   
The bum out turtle took his sweet time, started to dry his legs first, working his way up, making sure every inch was dry enough to apply some moisturizer for extra treatment.  
   
Not one to admit he does use such products in fear of the teasing that would go with that little guilty pleasure, Raph like to have his skin soft and irresistible.  
   
Hell, he even noticed that April tended to touch it more when it was in such a condition.  
   
Sure someone would state he was using tactics to get the female’s attention, but who would blame him, April was beyond hot in the red clad turtle’s eyes.  
   
Finished with the prepping and pampering, Raph ended things off with strapping his pads and belt on, then finally his red bandana.  
   
That was a fresh set of course, what would be the point taking a shower, then to place his sweaty gear back on?  
   
Sluggishly making his way to the toilets area of the bathroom through the small archway, Raph stop in his tracks, suddenly hearing an familiar alarming sound.  
   
 _(Huh, what the hell?)_  
   
There across the room the unmistakable noises of someone hacking away, accompanied with a plopping, splashing like sounds came echoing behind him from within one of the stalls.  
   
 _(Is someone throwing up?)_  
   
Unsure who was sick or why, it was clear as day, whoever it was, was feeling green around the gills.  
   
As the constant actions progressed, the turtle was more than just a bit sick, they were very ill, for the dry heaving kicked in quickly followed by the sobbing in between.  
   
Removing his hand from the washroom’s door, Raph walked up to the stall, lightly tapping on the metal door, “Hey who’s in there? Are you ok?”  
   
The sick soul, not ushering a word only sobbed louder, hacking, gasping for air.  
   
 _(Damn this doesn’t sound good; I need to get into that stall. All I need is someone to start choking on their vomit!)_  
   
Fearing the seriousness of this situation, Raph rushed to the sinks looking for something that was flat enough to place in the lock on the door to open it.  
   
Sure, he could simply knock the door down, but that would result the person in the stall getting hit by the door. He was desperate to get it open, yet not that desperate!  
   
Scrambling through some of the items, which were mostly toothbrushes and paste, finally to his luck, Raph came across to one of April’s hair clips that was laying there.  
   
She must have forgotten to put it away, which he was never one that cared if she did put it away or not, unlike Leo who was all ways so anal over silly things like this.  
   
Not wasting any time, Raph went back to the stall door, placing the clip in the flat slit for the lock, unlocking the door quickly.  
   
This stall door like any other that opened inward, Raph opened it carefully, minding the sibling on the other side, avoiding not to hit the brother in need.  
   
To his dismay, Raph gulped hard seeing there hugging onto the porcelain thrown was no other then Donnie, with his head half in the bowl.  
   
 _(Donnie?! Why is he sick? And no one around to check on him!)_  
   
Instantly once again attempting to spill what was left in his stomach, which by now was nothing, only resulting the sicken turtle to dry heave, gasping for air between, making his body tremble in the end.  
   
“Shit Donnie what’s wrong?!” Raph placed his hand gently onto Donnie’s shoulder.  
   
In direct response the younger brother shuddered by the contact coldly, as if Raph was some stranger.  
   
 _(Crap is he warm?!)_  
   
Raph quickly placed his hand firmly onto Donnie’s forehead was mortified that his fears were beyond realized and it was worse than he originally predicted.  
   
Donnie wasn’t just warm, he was burning up, to the point just touching him was very uncomfortable.  
   
 _(Shit, he is on fire! Why does he have such a fever? What would cause this? What has happened to him?!)_  
   
“Damn it Donnie?! Shit don’t you dare close your eyes!” Raph panicked noticing Donnie’s body was shaking uncontrollably and his eyes fluttered open and closed.  
   
 _(Damn, I need to cool him down quickly! Don’t pass out bro, please don’t pass out Donnie!)_  
   
Swooping Donnie up into his arms, Raph rushed back to the shower area, cranking the cold water on.  
   
Without any resistance, Raph went under the unforgiving water holding Donnie close, trying desperately to resist the urge of getting out of it.  
   
The ice cold pallets beat down against his green skin, bringing shivers down his spine, yet he couldn’t move from his spot. His first priority was to get Donnie to a normal temperature before all else.  
   
There was no way he would leave Donnie in such a condition alone.  
   
Feeling his brother’s forehead once again, a rush of relief claimed Raph, noticing that this little simple trick was working wonders.  
   
Donnie’s temperature was dropping gradually; if this keeps up, he would should go back to normal, that is if it doesn’t sky rocket again.  
   
 _(Don’t worry Donnie I will make sure you get better… I will not leave this very spot until you are.)_  
  
\------------------------------------****************------------------------------------------  
   
 **April Pov**  
   
“April are you okay?” Mikey lingered around the female turtle, placing his hand onto her shoulder giving her a sweet smile of support.  
   
“I’m fine now Mikey, are the kids taking a nap?” April kissed Mikey on the head as the small turtle grinned ear to ear.  
   
“Yep, they are sound asleep, hopefully they will stay down for a bit, I’m beat,” Mikey leaned his shell against April’s, stretching out on the couch flicking through the channels to find something interesting to watch on his down time, not worrying if it was kid appropriate.  
  
It has been a while he had a moment to spend some time with her. With the kids and everything going on, neither one of them normally had a moment to spare to just hang out, nor just sit around talking about anything that didn’t involved the kids.  
   
“Sorry about that Mikey, I don’t mean to dump them on you so much, it just…” April started to apologize, feeling the sharp pain of guilt for making the youngest brother in taking so much responsibility that in many ways wasn’t his to take.  
   
“April I’m cool with it, really I am. I love the little hatchlings to bits,” Mikey smiled sweetly again laying his head against April’s arm, “I know a lot is going on, besides it’s best that it’s me not… say Leo,” Mikey grinned wildly, seeing the curling smile on April’s lips, knowing all to well he got her to cheer up.  
   
 _(Yeah really…)_  
   
“I sadly have to admit you’re right,” April admitted trying not to snicker.  
   
“Yep… oh that reminds me,” Mikey lowered the controller, tilting his head towards April with a very playful smile, “Leo churred to Willow today.”  
   
Taken by surprised by his sudden new news, April gasped for air, choking on her glass of water.  
   
Recovering from the sudden shock, April placed the cup down right away, giving Mikey a sideways look.  
   
 _(Did Mikey just say Leo churred? No I must have heard that wrong.)_  
   
“Mikey say that again.”  
   
Grinning more the orange clad turtle was amused by her reaction, “Leo churred no word of a lie and it was really cute! Not just how Willow reacted towards Leo, but his churr is actually as soft as yours.”  
   
Unable to contain it Mikey burst out laughing almost rolling off the couch reminiscing the moment yet again.  
   
“What?! Come on Mikey, you must be pulling a fast one on me,” April gently nudged Mikey shoulder playfully.  
   
Shaking his head, Mikey gave her a straight look calm and serious, “April it’s true, ask Donnie. Leo did churr and it was soft, you should have seen his face. He went as far as to threaten us to never to tell anyone. Which doesn’t make sense considering you’re the only one I would tell, besides it was cute and Willow was ecstatic.”  
   
Smiling on the event, wishing she seen it for herself, April leaned back, nodding, “I would guess so, she has been wanting him to act like that towards her for some time now. Though Leo does make her cry the most, oddly she always wants him in the morning.”  
   
“Yeah, she finally had worn him down,” Mikey stated with some more chuckles getting comfortable against April, attempting to channel surf once again.  
   
“Well I think it’s a good thing, Leo has to stop denying he is a turtle at times and it’s ok for him to act like one. Especially around the kids.”  
   
Nodding Mikey agreed, finally finding a channel that he was satisfied with.  
   
Just as the both turtles were going to take the moment and relax watching the tube, a door slammed open as Raph voice hollered.  
   
Startled by the sudden outcry coming from Raph, both turtles jumped up, flashing a look over towards the bathroom door.  
   
 _(Donnie?!)_  
   
In a mist of confusion the two surprised turtles stared at Raph, who in turn was trembling and chattering his teeth, while water dripped off his body, as he held Donnie in his arms who was unconscious.  
   
“Raph what happened?” Mikey asked as both him and April reached them.  
   
Quickly April checked Donnie, noticing that Raph’s arm was ice cold and had goose bumps covering it.  
   
 _(Why is Raph so cold?)_  
   
“I… Don-n-ie, w-a-s…” Raph chattered, as his pupils dilated, he was even wobbling, ready to collapse at any moment.  
   
“Mikey go get Leo quick, and some blankets fast!” April directed the young turtle helping Raph towards the lab.  
   
“A-a-pppril…. D---oonnniee,” Raph managed to get out squinting his eyes.  
   
“Raph stop talking just keep walking we are almost at the lab okay?” April shook her head.  
   
 _(What is going on?)_  
   
\---------------------------------------******************-------------------------------------  
   
Reaching the lab, to the female turtle’s dismay it was quiet, there was no sign of Leatherhead, did he leave?  
   
 _(Damn of all the times he isn’t here is when we need him…)_  
   
Carefully directing Raph to the cot, making him to put Donnie onto it, then lay down himself.  
   
Stubborn as a mule the red clad turtle still fought to speak, which was a fruitless act and one that was hindering him more than anything.  
   
 _(I have to get him to relax and worry about getting himself better.)_  
   
Seeing no way around it April used the only tactic she knew always made her mate speechless.  
   
With a gentle kiss on the lips Raph stop staring at her in bliss.  
   
“April Leo is coming I have the blankets… I don’t think kissing him is the proper treatment,” Mikey raised an eyebrow at April, letting out a small sigh.  
   
Smiling at the small turtle she shrugged, “It is when you want him to shut up. Now give me those blankets I need to get Raph’s body temperature back to normal. Mikey can you grab the thermometer?”  
   
Doing what he was instructed Mikey went to Donnie’s desk looking for one.  
   
While he did, he took notice the oddly abandon lab, “Where is Leatherhead?”  
   
“I don’t know he wasn’t here when I came in,” April pointed out, while Mikey gave her the thermometer, popping it into Raph’s mouth.  
   
While April attended Raph, Mikey took the time to check on Donnie noticing he was wet too, yet wasn’t cold, instead warm?  
   
Examining the brother Mikey’s eyes widen, “April I think I know what happened.”  
   
“What happened then Mikey?” Leo voiced came from the doorway.  
   
Looking at his two young siblings warily, Leo made his way to them, unsure how this happened or why.  
   
“I think Donnie had a fever and Raph used a cold shower to bring it down,” Mikey bit his lip, waiting for April to give him the thermometer to see where Donnie was standing.  
   
 _(Donnie had a fever that doesn’t make sense…)_  
   
“Mikey that doesn’t add up, how can Donnie had such a fever, neither I or April notice it when he was in her room,” Leo crossed his arms.  
   
The thermometer ready to read from Raph, April shook her head, jumping to her feet.  
   
 _(Great his temperature is too low.)_  
   
Quickly as the other two turtles started to question her actions, April crawled into the bed beside Raph holding him tightly against her body.  
   
“April?” both Mikey and Leo asked a bit puzzled.  
   
 _(Really? Why are they looking at me like that?)_  
   
“He is freezing, his temperature is way too low for the norm. Do you want to volunteer to warm him up?” April narrowed her eyes at them both, for not seeing that is her true intent.  
   
Coughing Leo cleared his throat in embarrassment, “I will pass… what of Donnie?” Leo placed his attention back to Mikey, who at the moment was testing Donnie.  
   
“This isn’t good guys he is a high 100.4 F and rising… What should we do?” Mikey whimpered.  
   
“Aspirin. Get him some Aspirin, that should fight it, if he gets higher we will need some ice. And worse case scenario would be that we might have to do a cold bath again to him,” April instructed as both turtles looked at her in surprise.  
   
“Wow you really know your stuff, huh April,” Mikey was happy someone did.  
   
“Well to a point. You see, after dealing with Donnie and all the things we have been going through, I started reading to make sure someone knew how to handle the small things if something like this happened,” April admitted turning red.  
   
“Well I’m happy you did, without Donnie to rely on we need someone to know these kind of things, we can’t keep scraping by… Though I have to admit now we do have Leatherhead around to help. Who has much knowledge which comes in handy… Talking about Leatherhead, where is he? I thought he had work to do?” Leo looked about noticing no trace of him, he would thought the alligator would have said something before leaving.  
   
“Don’t know,” April shrugged rubbing Raph’s arms, who was still in a daze.  
   
“Leo can I have some help to get Donnie to drink this? I crushed the pills and put it into this glass of water so we can get him to drink it,” Mikey waved Leo to aid him.  
   
Taking their positions to tend to Donnie, Mikey placed himself behind Donnie to support his shell, as he held onto the glass.  
   
Leo went to the purple clad turtle’s side helping to keep his head straight up, while reluctantly opening the helpless turtle’s mouth open, to allow access for the water.  
   
Taking a breath Mikey poured the water mixture down Donnie’s throat, hoping he would not choke on it.  
   
In reaction Donnie’s body gurgled, forcing Leo to hold his mouth shut so the brother would have to swallow.  
   
The older brother even had to stroke Donnie’s throat to make him to drink it.  
   
Leo and Mikey finally done with this dreadful deed, felt worse for wear, they didn’t like this, but it had to be done.  
   
Gently placing Donnie down again Mikey took some efforts to soothe him.  
   
“Guys, why do you think Donnie got ill all the sudden? I mean I can’t see how this came to be?” Mikey whimpered more, hating seeing Donnie in such a state and then seeing Raph the way he was wasn’t helping.  
   
“I don’t know…” April repeated herself feeling that was the only answer she had.  
   
“I think I should give Leatherhead a call. We probably will need his assistance,” Leo walked towards the lab door, taking out his shell cell, dialing up the alligator.  
   
 _(Yeah, sure… He better not have been the one that did this to Donnie!)_


	9. (The Gullible One)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Two years later after April gave birth to two eggs, Donnie is starting to have odd dreams, as he continues to struggle with his illness. To top it off, events start to unfold, that the dankness can't kept secret anymore, as Donnie and Aprils past starts to come to the light, is it a good thing or a sign that worse things are still to come, shattering the mirrors of their minds they hold so dearly to protect. (TMNT CC are AU based on 2003 versions, April is 25 as the turtles are 22) Pov will switch between Donnie, April and Raph.  
> Disclaimer: The TMNT isn’t mine and this is just a fan fiction writing. No money is being made on this story.

_**Raph Pov**_  
  
Lying there on his shell, Raph didn’t say a word, watching through the corner of his eye at his little brothers.  
   
Donnie was just sitting there staring into the abyss, while Mikey was attempting to communicate with him.  
   
The lab, Raph became aware that was where he was still at, was quiet in many ways.  
   
It was only them occupying the space at the moment. Yet he swore April was there, he could still smell her scent close to his beak, was she lying with him?  
   
Closing his eyes, he recapped the events beforehand; the strongest memory was the cold, did he over do it?  
   
(Damn, I must have made my own body to cold… That is why she was laying on me. Donnie doesn’t seem to be suffering from a fever anymore, yet he is still acting weird.)  
   
Slowly getting up, a gentle hand pressed against his shoulder to stop him, “Whoa Raph, not so fast take it easy.”  
   
Rolling his eyes at Mikey, Raph continued sitting up straight, using the wall behind him as support to stay that way.  
   
“I’m fine Mikey. How is Donnie doing,” Raph tilted his head towards Donnie, who didn’t even blink on hearing his name.  
   
“I… He won’t talk to me bro,” the orange clad turtle sighed, sitting on the edge of the bed beside Raph, twiddling his thumbs.  
   
“Where is April or Leo at that… Hell, I don’t even see LH.”  
   
Just as he mentioned Leatherhead’s name suddenly Donnie cringed fearfully, as he did, he laid back down quickly covering himself with his blanket suspiciously.  
   
(Okay… Wasn’t suspecting that kind of reaction from him…)  
   
Shrugging, keeping his eyes on Donnie, Mikey bit his lip, “I don’t know, Leo has been trying to get a hold of him. As for April, she is fetching some water and something to eat for the two of you.”  
   
“Oh I see. Well, I’m good to go,” Raph tried to get up again, only to have Mikey protested over his stubbornness.  
   
“Like hell you are. You don’t pull a stunt like that and believe we would let you just go off on your merry way. Get back to bed RAPH!” Mikey growled, having Raph pushing him to the side like some rag doll, giving the younger brother a devilish smile as he did.  
   
“Nay, I’m good!”  
   
(And I need to know what is going on; April should be in here with Donnie not Mikey.)  
   
\-----------------------------***********---------------------------  
   
 _ **April POV**_  
   
Leaning against the wall with a tray in her hand, the redhead watched Leo passing back and forth, trying to dial up Leatherhead’s number yet again.  
   
For over a half hour the leader has been attempting to get a hold of the alligator, only to have the phone ring on end with no sign of anyone trying to answer it.  
   
(Why isn’t he answering?)  
   
“Still trying to get a hold of him?” Raph piped up at the lab door catching both turtles by surprise.  
   
(Raph? Damn stubborn fool!)  
   
“Raph what are you doing?!” April narrowed her eyes, only to receive a smirk on the red clad turtle’s lips.  
   
“Standing here, waiting for Leo to answer my question,” Raph purred enjoying the frustration surfacing on April’s face.  
   
“That is not what I was asking! Don’t you play innocent with me. Now back to bed.”  
   
(Is he smiling more? Damn him, this isn’t some game he is playing.)  
   
Sighing Leo got between the two love birds, this wasn’t the time for them to have their lovers quarrel, “Now both of you settle down. Raph she is right, you should be in bed…”  
   
“Sorry Leo no can do, someone needs to check up on LH. You're busy with the matters at hand, Mikey will have to take care of the kids soon and April is needed for Donnie. Leaving me to go find out what’s up with our friend.”  
   
Tightening his grip on his shell cell, Leo bit his lip hard, contemplating on the statement Raph just gave him.  
   
Finally saying something, but not before sighing heavily, letting everyone in the room know he actually came up blank for a protesting reply against Raph, Leo placed the shell cell away.  
   
“Fine, you can go check on him, but you must keep your shell cell in arms length Raph. I swear if there is any sign of trouble you… I mean this Raph,” Leo spat noticing Raph was rolling his eyes like some child that found his lecture fruitless. “You will come back home or call, but in no circumstances do you put yourself in harms way? Do you hear me Raphael!?”  
   
“Yes Sir. I will be a good boy and not steer from your orders, sir,” Raph mocked back, enjoying the underline stress lines that showed up on his older brother’s face.  
   
“Raph…,” Leo swallowed back hard the pissy remark he had towards Raph for his behavior, going back to topic in the end. “I mean it. I shouldn’t even be allowing you to leave the lair after what you have been through. Yet I have to admit you had a valid point and you are the only one that could go check on him,” Leo crossed his arms, frustrated that there was no other way around this.  
   
“Leo take a chill pill, I will be fine. It’s only 5 minutes away.”  
   
(Five or forty it’s still all the same, I wish Leo wouldn’t let him go. Why does Raph have to be so stubborn?)  
   
“I am well aware of that Raph… April I will bring the tray in, I need to talk to Mikey anyways,” Leo came to April taking the tray from her, he wanted to leave before he said something to his younger brother that would result in some fight between them.  
   
“Sure Leo,” April gave him the tray not taking her eyes off of Raph who was acting all proud of himself.  
   
Once Leo was gone, April didn’t hold back, pacing up towards the muscle bound turtle, “Raph this is a bad idea. Do you have any clue how bad of shape you were moments ago?”  
   
Smirking brightly Raph closed in, wrapping his arms around her waist, seeing the sour puss expression on her lips.  
   
“Yes I do, I still can feel your stunning body that was pressing against mine. I’m surprised I didn’t burn up.”  
   
“Raph! This is serious…” April complained only to be interrupted by Raph’s lips pressing against hers.  
   
“April I’m fine, don’t worry about me. It’s sweet, but not necessary. Besides I will only be a bit and you can nurse me all you like afterwards. I wouldn’t mind experiencing that sponge bath thing, which so many lucky guys get to have,” Raph growled licking April on the cheek.  
   
(What a ham.)  
   
“Oh really now, I will remember that,” April tilted her head sideways, making sure the red clad turtle caught the malicious grin on her lips.  
   
“Yeah… That would be… I really need to get going,” the male turtle stuttered nervously, this was never a good sign of her acting in such a manner, it meant she was up to something and this wouldn’t end so well for him.  
   
Hurrying towards the door Raph left quickly not daring to look back.  
   
(Raph, please be careful. I still don’t trust that alligator.)  
   
\-------------------------------*****************------------------------------------  
  
 _ **Raph POV**_  
   
Making his way to Leatherhead’s place, Raph stopped in front of one of the broken camera’s that he has been meaning to fix and inform Leo about.  
   
With everything that was going on, it slipped his mind, not just that, it wasn’t like Leo made any effort of bringing it up on his behalf as well.  
   
Raph still had no clue who or what did the damage, he couldn’t believe he left it this long.  
   
All he knew someone or thing was still around that could be a threat, how irresponsible of him.  
   
Sighing knowing this wasn’t the time to worry about it; he will have to revisit the issue later after he was sure Leatherhead was okay first.  
   
The walk only taking five minutes, Raph was relieved to arrive at Leatherhead’s place without incident or any signs of danger on the way.  
   
Yet even with the relief there was something in the air that lingered there, making his nerves on edge.  
   
(Why am I so nervous?)  
   
Taking his time to venture into the old subways station Leatherhead claimed as his lab years ago, Raph put his guard up when the feeling escalated, making him wonder if this was a good idea for him to come here alone after all.  
   
Clearing his throat, Raph called out into the darkness before him, “Hey LH are you home?”  
   
With no answer, Raph took out his sai narrowing his eyes to help him adjust quickly, yet only accomplishing in seeing the outlines of Leatherhead’s equipment, nothing in great detail though.  
   
(Damn, where is he?)  
   
With another step forward, Raph suddenly got a cold chill down his spine, as he felt something coming at him full force.  
   
Unable to react in time Raph’s shell slammed into a nearby pillar hard as a rush of pain invaded his body.  
   
Gasping for air, Raph eye’s widen seeing the injured alligator with his blood lust eyes locked onto him, “LH it’s me Raph… Shit what happened to you? Who did this to you?”  
   
As if his voice reached the temperamental alligator, his eyes suddenly softened.  
   
Snapping out of his rage, the big guy nervously took a step back in regret of his rash actions towards his turtle friend.  
   
Feeling the cement under his feet once again, Raph took many deep breaths before speaking, “Hey… LH… What is going on…”  
   
Shaking his head the alligator bit his lip, “I… I’m sorry Raphael.. I…”  
   
Giving a reassuring smile Raph nodded, “No sweat, I know you didn’t mean to… So are you going to tell me?”  
   
“I… Why are you here Raphael,” Leatherhead asked apprehensively, looking over his shoulders as if someone was going to crawl out of the shadows and attack him.  
   
(Ok he is definitely worried. I should take this easy and get him to tell me when he is ready.)  
   
“Well, I came over because we have been trying to call you for some time now. You see Donnie became sick out of the blue, with a high fever and when you haven’t answered our calls I came over to check on you…”  
   
“Oh… A fever?” Leatherhead eased up, tilting his head in wonder.  
   
“Yeah, I found him in the bathroom not to long ago throwing up a storm and he was hot as hell. I had to put him under a cold shower to cool him down,” Raph explained noticing Leatherhead was settling down.  
   
“That sounds peculiar.”  
   
Scratching his head, Raph nodded, “Yep you’re telling me. We have no idea what happened or if he got into something he shouldn’t have. When April and Leo saw him last he was ok, and then I found him. By chance did you see him before you left? I need to know what he was doing beforehand.”  
   
Becoming nervous once again Leatherhead became silent.  
   
(What is going on? What is he hiding?)  
   
“LH what is going on? Who hurt you?” Raph asked again noticing Leatherheads leg look like it was mangled up.  
   
“I… Raph… Its best you leave,” Leatherhead stuttered, looking around once again.  
   
(Did he just addressed me by my nickname? Shit something is, wrong!)  
   
Going towards the alligator, Raph placed his hand on his arm to show his support, “LH you can tell me were friends, what’s wrong?”  
   
“You will not believe me if I did tell you, I’m sorry my friend.”  
   
Not taking that as an answer Raph crossed his arms, “I will determine if I will believe you or not, so spill it.”  
   
Sighing Leatherhead sat on the ground as comfortably as he could, “Raphael I have a question for you. Have you noticed… have you witnessed any odd behavior out of Donatello that didn’t match to his current state?”  
   
(Wait a minute, why is he bringing Donnie up?)  
   
Choosing his words carefully, Raph responded to the question, “Well not really, except a few times, but that was nothing that odd, why you ask?”  
   
Nodding, the alligator cleared his throat, “For starters, are you aware the machine that was used on April couldn’t be operated by anyone that didn’t have former knowledge on how it works. When I say that none of the files Donatello had created in the past would have helped to get it to work correctly.”  
   
“No, I didn’t know, what are you getting at LH?”  
   
“Raph that machine could only work if it was the old Donatello using it, not the current one… You see I think I discovered a disturbing development with your brother that I didn’t notice until it was too late.”  
   
Leaning against a pillar, Raph closed his eyes, “Okay… and what would that be. The way you’re going your sounding like Donnie is fine, but I know he isn’t.”  
   
“Oh you’re correct on that, he isn’t fine at all, far from it. Raphael I believe your brother has a split personality disorder.”  
   
Shocked Raph straitened up, feeling all the blood drain from his face, “WHAT?! What do you mean he has a split personality? Where do you get that idea? Is this over the mystery of April’s mutation?”  
   
Clenching his fist Leatherhead growled fiercely, “No!! From the fact he ambushed me in his own lab, beat the shit out of me and threatened my life in the process. He acted nothing like that docile and confused side that he has been showing to you and your family. He was aggressive, possessive and the way he spoke was beyond the capability of the side he has shown to all of us thus far.”  
   
(No this can’t be happening…)  
   
“No… Damn it NO! LH you must be mistaken… Please, you must be mistaken…”  
   
“RAPH does these injuries look self conflicted to you? What would I have to gain to spin such a lie? He did this to me, I too am in shock,” Leatherhead slammed his fist to the ground.  
   
(Fuck, this can’t be happening…)  
   
Biting his lip, Raph put his hand on his face to hide the tears that were forming, “Shit LH… How is this possible… Why haven’t we seen this then?”  
   
“I don’t know, maybe it’s a defense mechanism to protect himself when he feels threatened. I am new to him; he must proceeded me as someone that would hurt him. Or he heard how I lost myself around April. He seemed very possessive over her, more than anything.”  
   
“We need to talk to Leo…” Raph started to walk away, he needed to get home fast and let Leo know before something worse happens.  
   
They needed to figure out how to handle this, how to help his poor brother, this is all he needed on top of everything else he went through.  
   
Was this god damn rollercoaster ride ever going to end?  
   
How long does Donnie have to suffer, why can’t he just be his old self again?  
   
Stopping the turtle in his tracks, Leatherhead wouldn’t allow Raph to leave, “We can’t.”  
   
Turning around quickly Raph was confused, “Why not, what you describe and the way you look who knows when this other side of Donnie will show up and what he will do to any of us. He might seriously hurt one of us!”  
   
“I understand your concerns, but I doubt it will, unless he is provoked. He threatened to kill me if I dared to bring this up to one of you. What do you think he will do if he finds out? The Donatello you know will do nothing, but the other half might, you can’t risk it.”  
   
(Shit, what am I to do?)  
   
“So then what leave it? You know we can’t just do that either!” Raph held his side feeling like he was losing it.  
   
“No, I think the best options before us, is you to evaluate him. Yet keep in mind of this depressing information, to see if you can determine his behavioral patterns. This way we can figure out how to help him properly. If he doesn’t suspect a thing he might show himself more and you will be able to notice these patterns than before. Considering all this time you might have written it off as him having a good day or whatever other reason that comes to mind. He might be doing things that you didn’t realize he was doing behind your backs and close doors. Only coming to the conclusion in the end it had to be someone else’s doing, not his. Resorting to the path of thought that he is incapable in doing certain tasks,” Leatherhead sat back down.  
   
“So spy on Donnie, great… LH do you by chance believe Donnie could be capable of destroying cameras that surrounding the lair?” Raph asked not believing he was.  
   
“I believe so. Why you ask?”  
   
(So Donnie could have been the one that had taken down the cameras when we weren’t paying attention? We have been giving him more free time alone… Maybe that was a bad idea after all… Still, why would he take down the cameras?)  
   
Shaking his head Raph let it drop, “Just wondering. Ok I will not tell anyone for now; I really don’t need him to go all dark side on us. I guess you need to go to his lab sometime soon too, you would notice things there then I would. But how do we go about it without making Donnie piss. Man, this isn’t going to be easy.”  
   
“No, it won’t be. For now I will work on that other request you had with the kids. I think that would be a way for me to come back. But first I need to heal so no one will question my injuries. I will tell Leo the samples I have here, are all I need for now and can do it in my own lab for I feel shameful for my actions towards April. That will not raise any suspicion.”  
   
“Yeah, that would work, so how does finding out who is the kids’ father going to help you?”  
   
Smiling Leatherhead nodded, “Oh that is simple Raphael my friend, I will not doubt win the trust over April, even though she would be upset with me for doing this. I doubt Donatello’s other side would show itself in front of her, giving me the opportunity to come over more. But only when you can keep Donatello distracted, I can’t be alone with him in case he wants to claim his territory again with me.”  
   
“Ok sounds like a plan. I’m sorry what Donnie did to you…”  
   
“It’s ok my friend I understand and wish only to help your dear brother, for he is also my friend and like family. Which I regard you and your brothers as well,” Leatherhead smiled more at his friend.


End file.
